and hit a number, putting it on speaker for James to hear.
“WTF?” she said when her dad answered with a cheery “Yo!”
Harry paused. “What does WTF mean?” he asked. “No, wait, let me guess. It means . . . thank you, Father.”
She glanced at him across the water. “It means what the freak are you up to?”
“Who, me?”
“Yeah, you, Dad. Dumping us here. This fancy spread . . . What’ve you been doing, taking decorating tips from The Bachelor marathons?”
“Hey, that was our secret,” Harry said. “Look, it just seemed like you needed a little fun. Take the day, enjoy it—though that might be hard to do, since you stole your phone back—but hopefully you’ll try.”
“Dad.”
“Work can keep, Smalls. Life can’t.”
Hannah rubbed the crease between her eyes, looking like she was ready to blow a gasket. “You always do this to me. You put fun ahead of real life . . . Hello? Hello?” She looked at the screen. “Damn it. He disconnected me. Can you believe him?”
James turned and started walking along the beach.
“Where are you going?”
Instead of answering, he headed to the base of the bluffs that he knew like the back of his hand. He could hear her following him, swearing beneath her breath about the crazy people in her life and the need for a change.
James was all for change.
It took twenty minutes to get to the top, but he beat his and Jason’s best time by at least five minutes. Which hurt like hell. He was standing there at the top, hand pressing against the ache in his chest, when Hannah came up beside him, breathing heavily.
He waited for a smartass comment, not entirely sure he had it in him at the moment to volley back. But she didn’t say anything, wiseass or otherwise. She simply met his gaze. “You okay?” she asked softly.
“It’s you who’s breathing like you just ran a marathon.”
“Yeah, well, desk jockey . . . You going to jump?”
He hesitated, and she turned to face him. “It’s about Jason,” she said softly.
“It just hit me that I’ve never done this without him on one side and you on the other,” he admitted.
“I know.” She reached for his hand. “We’re missing a third of our posse.” She looked into his eyes. “You’re not okay.”
“I’m . . .” He shook his head. “I stayed away so long . . . I think in part to avoid this. Facing it.” He swallowed hard. “The truth is, I’m not quite sure how to be here without him.”
“You do what needs to be done when you’ve got to say goodbye to someone who should still be here.” Grief and sympathy in her warm eyes, still holding his hand, she stepped into him. “You live for him.”
“I’m trying.” He lifted his gaze to hers, not steady on his feet and extremely grateful for her presence as he realized there was no one but Hannah who could’ve gotten through to him in this moment. “But I feel guilty that I’m here and he isn’t.” He shook his head. “I’ve taken so many chances that I’m lucky to still be standing, and all he ever did was live his life to help my dad, and then fight like hell to stay alive for as long as it was physically possible for him to do so. It’s not fair.”
She tightened her grip on his hand and stared right into his eyes, her own sparkly with emotion and a few tears. “I know you miss him more than I can possibly imagine, but he wouldn’t want you to feel guilty that you’re still standing. He’d want you to remember the good times and think of him.”
“I do,” he said fiercely. He looked around. “Do you remember that first time we stood right here? It was our third year on the boat. We were what, maybe fourteen, fifteen, and sixteen?”
She gave a small smile. “I wanted to jump, but I was scared. My dad promised he’d jump with me, but he got busy.”
More like Harry had forgotten his promise to her. This happened a lot with both her parents, a fact that had always pissed him off for her. Jason and his dad had also always included her in everything they’d done. But that had been for only one week of the year. The rest of the time, she’d grown up in an unstable household that no doubt had felt unsafe, watching adults being unkind to one another and not witnessing the