die for him.”
“What are you mad about?”
The list was endless. “The main thing I’m mad about? Well, two things I’m mad about?”
Sledge nodded.
“I’m mad someone tried to kill me and take Gunner I’m mad that they were able to do it and I was useless keeping Gunner safe. I’m his mom now and I couldn’t keep him safe.”
“You were ambushed and shot, Queenie. No one would have been able to come out of that better than you did.”
I waved my hand at him. He was right, but that didn’t make me feel any less guilty. “The second thing I’m mad about is Duchess. Pretty sure I’ve been mad at her since I was seventeen and found her passed out on her bedroom floor.” I sipped my drink and remembered the day. “I had come home from school, did my homework, and cooked dinner. My mom worked second shift at a hospital as a janitor, so it was just Duchess and me most of the time.”
“That’s rough, sugar.”
Rough was a pretty good word for it.
“So, I finish making dinner and go knock on Duchess’ door, but she doesn’t answer. I know she is in there because she came home about an hour after I did and headed straight to her room. So I knock again and finally just go in.” Most people had fun memories from their childhood; I had memories of Mom never being there and Duchess doing one stupid thing or another. “She was laying on the floor, a lit cigarette hanging limply from her fingertips, and some porno playing on her small TV.” A wonderful sight to walk in on when you’re only seventeen.
“Sugar.”
Yeah, it was fucking ridiculous. “I kicked her feet and she jumped up like she had been shot. She might have just been sleeping, but it was a deep fucking sleep. She tried to play it off like it was nothing, but even then, I knew it wasn’t nothing.” I sighed and dropped my chin to my chest. “That was the beginning of Duchess’ downward spiral.”
“That’s some bullshit you had to deal with that when you were so young, sugar.”
It was. It fucking sucked. “Yup. Then two years later, my mom died, Duchess discovered meth, and I dropped out of college.”
“What were you going to school for?”
I blew out a breath. “X-ray tech. They make good money and I didn’t need to go to school for years. I was trying my best to get out of the hell I was living with Mom never home and Duchess always strung out. Mom died, and suddenly, I needed to pay rent and put food in my stomach.”
“Did she always live with you?”
I shook my head. “No. For about two years, we didn’t talk. I was too mad and she was too high. Then one day, she showed up at my apartment swearing she wanted to get clean and I was the only one who could help her.”
“So you helped her.”
I wagged my finger in his face. “I tried to help her. She wasn’t wanting help. She stayed with me for eleven days. I got paid on the eleventh day and she drained my account. I didn’t hear from her for another six months.”
“Jesus Christ.” Sledge shook his head. “I can’t fault you for being mad. You were a fucking saint for even trying to help her.”
I held up my hand. “Hold on, that isn’t where I qualified for sainthood. So after six months, she shows up again. This time, I’m wiser and don’t make the same mistakes as I did before.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “She’s ready to get clean now. She has seen the error in her ways and she has found the most perfect rehab that is going to just set her straight.”
“Oh, hell,” Sledge laughed.
Yeah, it was funny now. Before, not so much. “I didn’t realize my sister had learned some pretty slick shit living on the streets. So, she tells me about this rehab. I’m not dumb so I look it up, make sure it’s a real place. It’s all legit. I drive us there, a wad of money in my purse on the floor.”
Sledge held up his hand. “Wait. Please don’t tell me she grabs your purse and takes off with it.”
“So predictable, right? If only I would have seen it then.” I drained my drink and slammed it down on the bar. “So, fast forward a year and I’m older and wiser. Yeah?”
Sledge shook his head and laughed. “I’m assuming