crying with each squeeze of pure relief.
Her head thrummed with the thrill of it. The sheer blissful wonder of making Will come with just her hands and mouth. Finally, she released his shaft and looked up at him.
His face was still wet from the—
No, that wasn’t rain. Very slowly she stood, not at all sure her legs could do their job.
“Will?”
He just closed his eyes and shook his head, unable to speak.
“Oh, Will.” She put her hands on his face. “Don’t.”
“I’m so sorry, Jocelyn.” He barely whispered the words. “For not being there when you needed me.”
Suddenly she was cold. In this tiny, airless room that was probably ninety degrees and a hundred percent humidity, she was cold. The chill came from inside, from her chest—from her heart. Icy, empty coldness. “Will, if you can’t forget what you saw in those pictures, then I can’t be with you.”
He nodded, as if he understood. “I will.” He pulled her into a hug, holding her close, his body still quivering from his orgasm. “I promise I will.”
But could he?
When she shivered, Will bent down and grabbed her blouse, shaking it out and handing it to her. She slipped her arms into the sleeves, but it was wet and made her even colder.
“The storm’s moving away. Let’s go home, babe,” he whispered. “I want you in bed with me tonight.”
Now. She had to explain. Had to tell him the truth.
“You know that moment when… you realize that…” She fought for a breath and the right words. “You want something you can never have?”
“Yeah.” He puffed out a soft laugh. “I know that moment.”
“Well, that’s why I froze.”
“What do you want that you can never have?”
Love. Trust. Sex. A complete and total loss of control. “Um, Will, there are things about me you don’t know. Things you might not believe even if I told you.”
“Oh.” It was no more than a soft moan. “Honey.” Like he’d lost a battle, he reached for her, pulling her into him, pressing them together, squeezing so hard she almost couldn’t breathe. “I don’t care about your past. I don’t even care if… if…”
She stilled, waiting for him to finish. “If what?” she prompted when he didn’t.
“Whatever happened in California, I don’t care.”
It was more like what didn’t happen, but if he wanted to go there, it was easier for her.
“Well, I’m not ready to… spend the night with you,” she admitted.
With a soft sigh, he buttoned her blouse, all the way to the very top. “I can wait. I’m pretty good at that, as you know.” Holding her hand, he led her back out into the soft evening rain.
Chapter Twenty-three
Guy looked around at the strangers in his living room, all piled in there after the rainstorm started.
Who were these people? A thread of fear wrapped around his chest as he glanced from one to another, trying—and failing—to put names with the faces. There was the lady with wavy copper hair holding hands with the young man who made her laugh a lot.
A teenager who never shut the heck up and couldn’t say a sentence without the word “like” in it, but she’d been very kind to him when they’d played cards and he kept forgetting how many you had to put down for all the royal cards and aces.
Then there was Blondie, who blew in and out of the room like a breath of fresh air, kind of pretending she owned the place, the way she doled out drinks and jokes.
But where was William?
Good Lord in heaven, that’s who was missing. He hadn’t lost William again, had he? Not his son. Not like the other time.
An old dull ache he’d long ago learned to ignore pressed on his heart, like a mallet on the inside, throbbing and reminding him of things he wanted to forget.
His son.
“Where’s William?” he called out, silencing the soft buzz of conversation as everyone turned to him at once. He felt a flush of shame for yelling and adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. “I haven’t seen him,” he added sheepishly.
A woman he’d barely talked to came out of the kitchen. “Jocelyn went to find him, and then it started raining. I assume they ran into a restaurant or something.”
“You assume?” Guy didn’t mean to boom the question or make the teenager across from him flinch in surprise. “What if something happened to him?”
Where the heck would that leave Guy? William was everything.
“I’m sure they’re fine,” the woman said, tucking dishwater-brown hair behind