there, haunting them. Or, worse, he’d forgive Guy and expect her to do the same. No. “There’s no room for you on my list.” Or in my orderly, controlled, emotionally safe life.
“Make room.”
“There’s no time for you.”
“Make time.”
“There’s no…” She shook her head. “Please, Will. The same thing that’s always been between us is still between us.”
“Guy? I thought we had a…” He gestured toward the notebook on the bed. “A strategy for him.”
“We?” She almost smiled.
“Everything’s changed, now, Joss. We’re in this together. Everything’s changed.”
“Yes, it has. You know and I… I can’t stand that you know.”
“I can’t stand that I did nothing to stop it. That you ran away so that I could have a life and gave up everything—”
“I didn’t give up everything, Will.” She turned back to the closet, trying to think, digging wildly for control of the chaos in her heart. And failing.
“How did you… how did it all unfold?”
Did he really have to know this? She pushed some hangers, hard, like they were the memories she didn’t want. “Charity and Gloria found me on the street. Charity took me in and respected that I didn’t want to file charges.”
“Why the hell not?”
She closed her eyes and exhaled.
“Because of me,” he assumed, correctly.
“I didn’t want you dragged in as some kind of witness the week you were off to college and your baseball career.”
Behind her, he swore softly. “Then what?”
“Then Charity fixed me up, got all my stuff, got me to college. And she made damn sure my father knew she had proof of what he’d done, and forced him to resign from his job. She used to come by and check on my mother periodically, too, and let me know that everything was okay.”
“So I was replaced by Charity Grambling.”
“Will!” She whirled around, patience gone. “This isn’t about you.”
He held up both hands to stave off her anger. “I know, Joss, I know. But I can’t fucking stand that I let you down like that.” His hands relaxed and came down on her bare shoulders. “I want to make it up to you.”
She lifted her eyes to meet his, knowing the pain and regret she saw there mirrored her own. “You have. You took care of Guy.”
He grunted softly. “If I’d have known…”
“You’d have killed him.”
“Then everything worked out like it was supposed to, because he’s alive and I’m… and you’re… and we’re… together.”
She lifted a brow. “Not exactly.”
“I want to be. I want to be with you. I want to—”
He pulled her into him and met her mouth with his, hard and fast and unexpected. His arms tightened and he pressed hard, with no finesse but so, so much emotion.
“Give me a chance, Joss.” He ground the words into her mouth. “Give me a goddamn chance to show you that.”
Her fingers closed on his arms, the power in them emanating through her whole body. Everything in her responded, head to toe, heart to soul. She fought for a moment, her hands fisted, pushing and then pulling.
But she had to stop. Had to.
Couldn’t.
Instead, she opened her mouth and let him in, bowing her back and pressing her body into his, dizzy with the thrill just that much contact gave her. He dragged his hands over her bare back, letting them slide on to her backside, adding pressure and pleasure and pain all at the same time.
She burrowed her fingers into his hair, holding his head, taking, taking, taking the kiss.
But she had to stop. Otherwise, they’d—
With superhuman effort, she finally pulled herself away, the separation actually making her ache.
“Will.” She exhaled. “You are completely controlled by emotions.”
And she shouldn’t be. Couldn’t afford to lose control and trust a man. Even Will. Especially Will.
His lips curved up in a half smile. “Yeah, I am.”
“You can’t live that way.” At least she couldn’t. It was too scary and made her much too vulnerable.
“That’s what you don’t understand, Joss. You can’t live any other way; you can only exist.”
She shuttered her eyes and leaned into him, shaking uncontrollably. Whole-body terror gripped her. “I don’t want to lose control,” she whispered.
“I noticed.” He kissed her cheek, her neck, along the line of her shoulder. She could feel his erection growing, his heart pounding. “But I’m going to do whatever it takes to get on your damn list.”
She dropped her head on his shoulder, the sheer bliss of it weakening her knees. “You don’t want to be on my list, Will.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. We’re in this together now.