recall I was a willing participant,” she said, stiffly. “However, I think we should stick to what we said on the cruise. Sleeping together doesn’t mean we’re getting involved or have any emotional commitment.”
“I agree,” Darcy said. “It’s no good for Billy if we’re alternately fighting and loving. And I don’t want either of us to be hurt again. I’m sure you don’t, either. The reasons we got divorced haven’t gone away.”
Sadly, that was true. “So, no more sex.”
“Right. No more sex.” Darcy hesitated. “I’ll go have a shower.” He handed Billy to her and she could smell their lovemaking on his body and feel the warmth of his skin as his arm brushed hers.
No more sex. No more closeness. It was for the best, the smart thing to do, the brave thing. They both agreed. So why did it hurt so much?
Suddenly she wished she was in her own apartment where there were no temptations and where she could retreat from the emotions Darcy invariably stirred up. A few more days and she should be well enough to leave.
Emma nursed Billy while she waited for her turn in the shower. Her nipples were still sore but not as bad as before. She had to admit, the rest from breast-feeding had aided their healing.
With Billy settled on her breast she took the opportunity to call her sister. “Hey, how are you doing?”
“Great,” Alana said. “I got the sixth class Brett promised.”
“And Dave?”
“We’re not speaking.”
“It might be time to pull that ticket to Tahiti out of the hat. I’ll look after Tessa.”
“Thanks, but I doubt he’ll want to go anywhere with me.” She paused. “How’s things with you?”
“Oh, mostly good. I’m recovering, that’s the main thing.” Now wasn’t the time to go into her complicated ups and downs with Darcy. “I wanted to ask you a favor. Could you help me clean up my apartment? I want to move back as soon as possible.”
“Sure, but are you well enough for that?”
“I will be by Friday.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you there at our usual time.”
Emma heard the shower shut off. “I’ve got to go. We’re going over to Darcy’s parents’ house this morning.”
“Right back into the fold, I see.”
“No, it’s not like that. Catch you later.”
She’d missed the Lewises but it was awkward enough being around Darcy in the aftermath of their night together without running the gauntlet of Marge’s eagle eye watching to see how they were getting along. With any luck, though, all the attention would be focused on Billy.
And she would hang on to what Darcy had said the other day—they were friends. The lust could be confusing, but the single constant strength between them had always been friendship. That was one thing she didn’t ever want to lose.
* * *
DARCY WATCHED EMMA strap Billy into the car seat. The baby was blowing bubbles and batting at the dangling plastic keys, but she didn’t seem to notice. She never played with Billy, even now that she was feeling better. It made him sad that she was so detached from her son. She’d been such a loving mum to Holly, but she seemed to get no pleasure from Billy.
Their conversation this morning had been surreal. And probably not very honest. They both loved the sex, and it was going to be interesting to see how successful they were at abstaining. He wasn’t quite sure what had gone wrong between making love during the night and this morning. She’d been annoyed with him, but why? Surely not because he’d given Billy an extra bottle.
“Are we good?” he asked.
She straightened. “Of course. Why wouldn’t we be?”
Lots of reasons, but he decided to stick with the simplest. “This morning something was bothering you. I’d like to know what it was.”
She picked up the diaper bag in one hand and the car seat in the other. “We’re going to be late. We don’t have time for an argument.”
“An argument? So it’s that bad?” Darcy took Billy’s car seat from her. He wasn’t good at talking about his feelings, and he couldn’t always intuit hers. In the old days he would have brushed off a minor disagreement, but everything had changed. He was no longer sure of her. Plus they were going to his parents’ place and his dad was sick. Under the circumstances he’d rather they weren’t at odds while around his family. “Just tell me what’s wrong in twenty-five words or less.”
She sighed. “I’m trying to get my milk back. I really wanted to