was going to throw up I was so upset. But when I looked at Elena, she was actually gleaming. She had such a self-satisfied look on her face, I realized there was a lot more going on between Elena and Chloe then I realized. I felt like Elena had used me like a pawn to get at her cousin. Elena gave Chloe a smug smile and said, ‘You’re right, Chloe. Aaron really is good in bed.’
Chloe ran away. I threw on my clothes as quickly as I could and ran after her. When I caught up to her, I grabbed her arm. She turned and looked at me with such a look of utter disgust, I felt like a piece of shit.
And I deserved it. I was a piece of shit. She said, ‘Get your hands off me. Don’t you ever touch me again.
You lost the right to touch me when you put your hands on Elena.’ Of course, I let her go. She didn’t say another word to me. She turned her back on me and walked away. She never spoke to me again. She acted like I didn’t even exist. Of course, Elena never spoke to me again either. She got what she wanted. I felt like nothing. Less than nothing. That’s when I decided I wasn’t going to get involved in any more relationships. I never wanted to hurt anyone the way I hurt Chloe. And I started to believe I was an asshole, who didn’t deserve a girl like Chloe again. After that, I just did casual hook-ups. No strings attached. The girls didn’t mind. I started to get a reputation. After a while, girls didn’t see me as anything else. They didn’t want to see me as anything else. They knew it was just about sex and that’s what they wanted. I think they used me as much as I used them.”
I wasn’t sure what to think. Aaron’s story was tough to swa llow. He made a bad decision and did something really stupid. But he also seemed to be punishing himself a bit excessively for something that happened a long time ago.
Aaron looked deeply into my eyes. “When I met you, Rainy, things changed. You’re like Chloe in some ways, beautiful, smart, passionate, and caring. That intrigued me but it also scared the shit out of me.
The more I got to know you, the more I wanted you and the more intense my feelings for you became. I
loved Chloe but what I feel for you is so much more. You’re literally my sunshine. I feel like I need you to grow, hell, to even survive. Who can live without sunlight? Please give me another chance. Let me prove to you that I’m worthy of your love.”
I swallowed hard. I was scared out of my mind. I knew Aaron had deep feelings for me but he also had the capacity to hurt me just as deeply. I bit my bottom lip. I was at another turning point. I could walk away now and cut my losses or plunge into the deep water and take my chances. It was sink or swim time.
Aaron looked at me expectantly. He was waiting for me to respond.
I cleared my throat and Aaron raised an eyebrow.
“I have some ground rules,” I said as firmly as I could, even though I just wanted to melt into his arms.
“Okay,” he said.
“First, if you’re with me, you can’t be with anyone else. No kissing or even touching any other girls.”
He nodded although I wasn’t sure yet if it was a nod of understanding or agreement.
“Second, you’ve probably figured out that I’ve never, um, been with anyone sexually. I won’t sleep with anyone unless we’re totally committed to each other and we love and respect each other. And I
won’t sleep with you until I know that I can completely trust you. I hope you realize that may not be for a while. I know you’re used to having sex a lot and whenever you want, so if you don’t want to wait until I’m ready, I understand.”
Now I was the one waiting for his response. I truly didn’t know what he was going to say. I’m sure it was a lot for someone like him to take in.
Aaron brought both of my hands to his lips and slowly kissed each one of my fingers. Then he stared into my eyes. I could feel my body heat up in response to the intensity of his