dessert?”
He was quiet and then said in a hoarse voice, “Why eat food when I get you as an option . . .”
I opened my mouth to say something, but I was almost to Steve and he’d just turned around.
“Hey.” I nearly choked on my tongue as I sat down next to the guy I was hired to help gain the attention of the love of his life. Her name was Stella, and based on the pictures in the file, they looked like they could be brother and sister. It was a match made in heaven . . . At least it appeared so, since they had an eighty-percent chance of success once they passed the first three months of dating.
“He’s a computer science major, Gabs. You’re going to have to do better than ‘hey,’” Lex interjected.
Steve looked up. He had shaggy brown hair that gave me the impression that he was allergic to scissors. His hair covered one eye, leaving the other peering up at me in curiosity.
Brown. A pretty brown. I could work with that, right?
“You have nice eyes,” I said softly. “You should maybe make people aware you have two of them, otherwise they may mistake you for a pirate. Arggg.”
Lex let out a groan. “You did not just Jack Sparrow him.”
Steve smirked and then laughed out loud. “Yeah, that’s what I’m going for, dark and dangerous. Did it work?”
I nodded vigorously. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
He looked me up and down, then took a slow, cautious sip of his drink. “You’re here with that guy.” He pointed at Lex. “So, either this is a bet to see if you can get me to embarrass myself or”—his eyes narrowed—“you could be part of Wingmen Inc.”
Smiling, I pulled out the chair next to him. “Mind if I sit?”
“Beautiful and evasive,” he said over his glass. “I like it.”
“Funny, because that guy over there hates it.” I jabbed my thumb in the general direction of Lex.
“When have you ever heard me utter those words?” Lex said in an angry tone. “Dude’s a jackass. Walk away, Gabs, he was staring at your tits.”
I ignored Lex.
“Think he’ll kick my ass if I insult him?” Steve asked.
“Hell yes I’ll kick his ass, tell him, Gabs. His stomach is concave. If we were the last three people on earth and we had to eat him to survive, we’d starve.”
I shrugged. “He’s more lover than fighter, more bark than bite.”
“I’m not even insulted.” Lex sounded like he was yawning. “I have a hell of a bite . . . You just wouldn’t know. Poor Gabs. Hey, did you get that vibrator I sent to your house? Put my face on the box and everything.”
Too far. I mentally imagined myself punching Lex in the face and forced a smile. Focus on Steve. Steve was the important person, not Lex.
“He looks like he could rip me in two.” Steve coughed into his hand. “By blinking.”
“Eh.” I shrugged. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Steve leaned in.
I cupped my hand and whispered, “In bed, girls call him Shorty.”
“Very funny, Gabs,” Lex said in my ear.
“Shorty?” Steve repeated. “Because of his . . .” He didn’t say the word.
“If he can’t say ‘penis,’ it leads me to believe he doesn’t know what it’s for, Gabs. Just saying. Object A goes into object B, and sometimes they produce a C . . . Oh, and just in case you were wondering, C stands for ‘conception.’”
Lex wasn’t easy to ignore, but I tried. I slid my hand across the table and patted Steve on the arm. “Let’s just say that when girls leave his bed, they always have a smile on their faces, but it’s not from pleasure . . . it’s from laughter.”
“They point and laugh?” Steve’s eyes widened.
“I think they would,” I said seriously, “if they could actually see the object they were pointing at, but, I mean, who has binoculars just laying around, right?”
“I do,” Steve said quickly.
“Of course he does.” Lex sighed. “And it’s huge, you felt it. Stop trying to insult King Lex.”
He’d named his penis.
Why was I not surprised?
“So . . .” I licked my lips. “Stella, huh?”
Steve immediately blushed, his cheeks burning a bright red as he looked down at the counter, then started playing with part of his frayed cuffs. “Yeah, well, I mean I’ve hinted that I like her, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“Ask him what he means by hint,” Lex instructed.
I cleared my throat. “So