wall going in and out of focus. I must be utterly exhausted.
When I enter the dark bedroom, I find Roark’s sleeping form on the floor, surrounded by his toys. It isn’t unusual for him to fall asleep while playing. It’s why Amelia asked that I check on him. Without anyone physically putting him to bed, he’ll stay up all hours of the night until he crashes.
I try to shake off the dizziness and cross the room, where I kneel down next to him. Something sits off to the side, and I frown once I realize what it is. A pill bottle. Small blue pills lay scattered on the floor. I lift the bottle, turning it over to find Amelia’s name printed on the label, and below it, Lorazepam.
Ativan.
Panic tightens its fist around my chest, and I turn Roark over, immediately taking note of the white pallor of his skin, the blue of his lips.
“Roark!” I shake his small body to wake him, every muscle in my body quaking with the urge to throw up. “Roark!”
His eyelashes flutter, his lids opening to show dilated pupils that can’t seem to focus on me. “I’seep, Daddy,” he says weakly.
“No, no. Don’t sleep.” Stroking his hair, I try to keep him awake. “Don’t sleep, buddy, okay?” I lift him into my arms, pressing him against my chest. “You can’t sleep yet.”
“I wan dede bew.” His teddy bear.
I don’t have time to look for it. I don’t even know if I have time to reach my phone. “Help me! Somebody, help me!” My shouts echo down the hallway, bouncing off the walls. Racing back toward my office with Roark in my arms, I find my phone on my desk and one-handedly dial 9-1-1.
“I’seep, Daddy.”
“No, no. Stay awake just a bit more, Roark.”
“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” At the sound of another person on the other end of the line, all the urgency pours out of me.
“My … my son! He … he got into my … he took Ativan.”
“Calm down, sir, is he with you now?”
“Yes!” I tuck the phone against my ear to grip the back of Roark’s head, and gently lay him down onto the desktop.
His eyes are closed again, and if possible, his face a ghostlier shade of white.
“No, no, no! Roark, wake up!”
“Master Blackthorne, is everything all right?” At the sound of Rand’s voice, I hold out my phone.
“Talk to her for me! It’s emergency. Roark got into Amelia’s pills!” The moment he takes the phone from my hand, I turn back to my son. “Hey, buddy. You need to wake up.” I give a light shake and gently pat his cheek. “Roark, wake up.”
“Ambulance is on its way, Master.” Rand’s voice is a distant sound to the rush of blood pounding inside my ears.
“He won’t wake up. I can’t fucking get him to wake up!” I lean down, pressing my ear to his chest, listening for a heartbeat.
Nothing.
“Roark?” When I shift toward his mouth, I don’t feel the warmth of his breath on my skin. “He’s not breathing.”
“The operator says you need to perform CPR on him, Sir.”
“I don’t fucking know CPR!”
“Allow me, Master.” Setting a hand on my arm, Rand urges me aside, placing himself between me and my son, and within seconds, he’s going to work on his chest, while talking to the woman on the phone. Rounding the desk, I watch through a shield of tears as the only thing in this world that ever mattered, that ever gave me purpose, lies slipping out of my grasp.
Amelia enters the room, darting toward Roark, and at the sight of her, I imagine wrapping my hands around her throat. Squeezing until her face turns as ghostly white as Roark’s.
“What happened? What’s going on?”
A muscle in my jaw tics, as she stands beside Rand, stroking the boy’s hair.
“What did you do?” I grit past clenched teeth. “What the fuck did you do?”
The rage in my voice must reach her loud and clear, because she slowly lifts her gaze, eyes wide and cautious as if a monster stands before her.
“I didn’t do anything,” she says in that disgusting meek voice that, in this moment, makes me want to tear her vocal chords right out of her throat. “I swear I didn’t do anything, Lucian.”
“Your pills were in his room. Scattered on the floor around him.”
Her body jerks with a sob that she caps behind her palms, and tears spring to her eyes. She shakes her head. “I didn’t leave them in his