mess out of everything, now that I laid it all out. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
She gently tucks a wayward tendril behind my ear, making me look up at her. “You can never do that. We love you too much.”
“But wouldn’t that make you more disappointed?”
“No.” She shakes her head, her eyes soft. “We’ll be sad and anxious for you, but not disappointed. We’ll always rally behind you, and if you’re in trouble, we’ll get you out of it together.”
“I wanted to protect Papa,” I whisper, relieved that she isn’t upset with me for the mess I’ve made.
“I know, but he wouldn’t want you to sacrifice yourself that way for him. He’s retiring anyway, sweetie. It’s the father’s privilege and prerogative to protect his baby girl.”
The unshed tears in my eyes grow hot. Shit. I blink fast, not wanting to cry. If we were home, maybe I wouldn’t fight so hard for control, but this is her office. I don’t want her coworkers gossiping about why I wept. “What should I do?”
She pats the spot between my shoulders. “What does your heart tell you?”
That’s a great question. The thing is, I can’t hear what it’s telling me, assuming it’s saying something in the first place, over all the cacophony of thoughts. “I don’t know. He’s just so”—I flail around with my hands—“complicated.”
“How so?” she asks.
“He’s too old money. Too rich. And too set in his ways.”
She raises both of her eyebrows in her classic Mama doesn’t believe you expression. “Is that a problem?”
“Yes.”
“How come? You work with lots of rich people. Actually, all of your clients are wealthy. And pretty stubborn, too, from what you’ve said.”
Put that way, what I’m saying now just sounds like whining. I push my hair out of my face and sigh. “It’s not the money, really. It’s simply that I’ve always wanted what you and Papa have, and I’ve always imagined it’d come with a nice suburban home with a two-car garage, a couple of kids and…maybe a dog.”
Mama smiles. “That sounds so lovely. So what’s wrong with Edgar’s money?”
“He wants a mansion…or at least a really expensive penthouse,” I say with utter bewilderment. “A place like that was never what I visualized for my future. And I just never thought I’d marry somebody like him.”
Something that looks suspiciously like amusement sparks in Mama’s eyes. “Do you think you can still be happy in a mansion rather than a suburban home?”
I think about that for a moment, then clear my throat. “Well, uh… Yeah. I guess…?”
“And is there something wrong with Edgar’s personality? Other than being set in his ways, that is?”
“Not that I can see. I mean, he’s too serious, but…” I shrug helplessly.
“Being too serious isn’t really a flaw, unless he takes himself too seriously. Does he?”
“No. He takes his promises and duties seriously.” As I say it, I realize with abrupt clarity that Edgar would rather not commit to anything than to break his word. Holy shit. That means his insistence we ought to get married is a much bigger deal than I thought.
“That’s a very desirable trait in a man,” Mama says, interrupting my thoughts.
I nod slowly. “Yeah, it is.” But if he’s vowing to marry me and be a good dad to our child… “The thing is, Edgar says he doesn’t love me.” The admission is a little embarrassing, but more than that, I’m confused. How can he want to commit to a woman he doesn’t love? It doesn’t make any sense. In my world, people ought to marry for nothing less than love.
“It’s still very early in the relationship. You said you didn’t love him either, but it looks like you care for him.”
My breath shudders out of me as uncertainty and fear grow bigger. “Yeah. I think I do. And that’s what’s so scary.”
Mama pulls me close and kisses me on the forehead. “Jo, you’re a lovely young woman. Why would he insist on doing the right thing if he didn’t feel anything for you? Marriage isn’t the only option these days. He could’ve just offered to pay you and the child some money and been done with it. Seems like he’s got enough.
“You have to be open to possibilities if you want this relationship to evolve into something beautiful. It might surprise you. Besides, based on what I saw of Edgar at the restaurant, he seems overly in control of his emotions. Maybe he doesn’t even realize what he’s feeling for you. Some men are like