well, if I’m totally honest, you sound kinda hysterical.”
I open my mouth to reply then shut it again.
“And now, you look like you’re doing a fish impersonation. Yup, you need help.” He gets the barman’s attention and says, “She’ll have one of these,” holding up his glass.
“Right you are, mate,” the server replies.
As he prepares the drink, Mr. Smiley moves over to me and plunks himself down on a barstool. “Have a seat.”
I let out a relieved puff of air that I’m now back in control and gladly take the seat. “Thanks. I will.”
“So, tell me your story. Are you a woman on the edge or just found something really, really funny?”
“You’re American,” I say in surprise, finally working out what’s different about this guy—and getting past his movie star good looks. If you mixed DNA from Channing Tatum and Liam Hemsworth, and threw in Bradley Cooper’s blue eyes, you’d get this guy sitting next to me right now.
“Smart, beautiful, and maybe a little crazy,” he replies as he takes a sip of his drink. “My perfect combination in a woman.”
Is this guy hitting on me?
“Not crazy,” I reply, feeling about as articulate as a snail.
The server places a drink on the bar in front of me. “Here you go, miss. Vodka on the rocks.”
“Err, thanks.” I reach for my purse. I’m not sure I exactly need alcohol after my outburst a moment ago, but it’s ordered now, so I guess I should pay.
“I’ll get it,” Mr. Smiley says, giving the server some cash and instructing him to keep the change. He lifts his glass. “Cheers.”
“Cheers,” I reply lifting my own before I take a sip. “Thanks for the drink.”
“You’re welcome. So, tell me. If you’re not crazy, you must have found something real funny. Can you tell me what it was?”
I let the cool liquid slip down my throat, relieved the overwhelming desire to laugh has subsided. “Tell me that opera is not insane. A man gives birth to forty-thousand or so babies, all on the same day. I mean, hello?”
“It is kinda out there, I’ve gotta agree.”
“Out there? Oh, for sure. And the babies, which were people in adult diapers. What was that all about?” I let out a fresh giggle at the thought.
“I believe they’re the man-mother’s babies, who all came out as adults with careers.”
“Seriously?” I shake my head. “That Poulenc guy must have been smoking something pretty mind-altering when he wrote this opera. Are all operas like this?”
He gives me a knowing look. “Ah. You’re an opera virgin.”
“I am.”
“Figures.”
“Why?”
“You’re not an octogenarian for starters. There are a lot of them here, you may have noticed.”
I think about Geraldine and her friends and of the rows of gray heads that were in front of us in the auditorium. “Oh, yeah. I noticed that.”
“You’re also not some British toff who thinks going to the opera will make them look super smart and educated. Plus, you were laughing like a hyena on caffeine a couple minutes back, so it’s obvious to me this ain’t exactly your jam.”
“A hyena on caffeine?” I reply, thinking that’s exactly what I thought I’d sounded like myself, only without the caffeine. “Thank you very much.” I feign offence, but really I’m glad I’ve met someone who gets it.
“Would you prefer I said you laughed like a deranged witch around a cauldron?”
My giggle ends in a snort as I’m reminded of Geraldine and her friends. “No. That would be way worse.”
“Then I suggest you take the hyena comment and run.” He extends his hand. “I’m Chris Hampshire, by the way.”
I take his hand and shake it. “Emma Brady.”
“So, Emma Brady, did you also enjoy the soprano whose voice could shatter all The Gherkin’s windows in one note?”
“What’s The Gherkin?”
He raises his eyebrows. “You don’t know what The Gherkin is? You are new around here. Fresh off the boat, huh?”
“I’ve just moved here from Houston, Texas.”
“A Texan gal,” he says, and I wait for him to make the usual comment about cowboys or Dallas, but he doesn’t. “The Gherkin is the affectionate name given to that tall green glass building in the City, mainly because it looks like a giant gherkin.”
“So, I take it it’s not a trick name?”
He laughs, and his whole face lights up, his Bradley Cooper eyes twinkling. “You got it.”
The volume of music coming from the theater grows as one of the singers reaches a particularly loud note, and I wonder if the second act is about to come to an