herself to be, not the perfectly cool aristocrat the ton applauded.
And in that small, still moment, with the fire blazing and Nick’s bergamot scent whispering around her like an old friend, she knew what she wanted.
“Prudence,” she said, “how did you know what to say?”
“I didn’t,” Prudence said, shifting in her chair. “But perhaps…perhaps I wish someone would say something similar to me.”
Regret flickered over Prudence’s face. Ellie wondered, not for the first time, when Prudence would do something about it. “Do you love Lord Salford?” she asked abruptly.
Prudence blinked, then pressed two fingers to her temple as though she’d been coshed over the head. “I beg your pardon?”
“Alex. Do you love him?”
Prudence turned back to her writing desk. “I haven’t the faintest idea why you would even suggest such a thing.”
“Take a bit of unsolicited advice, then, as repayment for giving it — whatever it is you regret, do something about it. If it’s Salford, say something. If it’s your circumstances, run away and have an adventure. You are a rational woman. If what you are doing doesn’t bring you joy, change it.”
Prudence snorted. “Felled by my own logic. That is why I study history, not philosophy.”
But there was amusement in her voice, enough to make Ellie laugh. She left Prudence to her books — not because she wanted solitude, but because she felt like painting something, anything, for the first time in weeks. She went up to her studio, ready to pour her heart onto the canvas.
Perhaps she and Nick couldn’t be real for each other. There was a chance that too much had happened to them, that there were too many words they couldn’t take back and too many wounds they couldn’t heal. But she was willing to try. Either he would see her heart and believe in it — or he wouldn’t be able to forgive her, no matter what she said.
Either way, she would have peace. She just had to hope that Nick could make the choice they both deserved.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Ellie painted all day. A maid brought a tray for her sometime in the afternoon, after she had shamelessly ignored her guests — she would rather give them reason to gossip than waste a precious hour of daylight.
But while it was likely easier that she had not seen Nick, she couldn’t help but wonder what he would say when they were alone again. When she finally descended to the drawing room at six o’clock, after dressing in a lush green evening gown, Nick still hadn’t appeared.
Most of her guests were present, though. They were eating an hour earlier than usual to make way for the larger entertainment Ellie had planned. She always included the villagers and tenants in an event during her house parties, and the neighborhood would be celebrating in the village that night with ale and other refreshments. Her aristocratic guests would proceed to the village for fireworks at nine — late for the farmers and shopkeepers, but early enough that her chef was likely still cursing her plans.
After scanning the drawing room in search of Nick, her eyes found Christabel instead. Her former sister-in-law stood apart from the group, looking handsome but slightly stunned in a pale blue muslin gown that gave her figure a softer, more feminine look than the outgrown pinafore she’d worn at home. Ellie joined her immediately. “I am delighted you decided to come, Lady Christabel,” she said, kissing her cheek.
Christabel didn’t look delighted. She looked equal parts determined and terrified. “Thank you, Lady Folkestone. And thank you for the loan of a dress. I haven’t seen this many people from the ton since your wedding — I hadn’t realized how out of step with fashion I had become.”
Ellie had whispered the offer of a dress at the dower house in an attempt to win her over into coming. She was glad it had worked — but she hadn’t realized just how isolated Christabel had been. “Did your sisters never bring you to London for a season? I admit, my circle didn’t include debutantes often enough for me to notice, but I assumed they would see you settled properly.”
Christabel’s lips compressed. “They grew too busy with their own lives, and all too happy that I was in the country watching over Mother.”
Ellie could fix this. She could take Christabel under her wing. She was little different from all the other people Ellie had rescued — and her vague sense of guilt over Christabel’s abandonment added to her determination.