him to bits anyway. But he sometimes had moments when he got so frustrated because he couldn’t express himself, couldn’t tell us what he wanted or needed. And now… Now he wanted to be with Rosalie. And he’d said it out loud.
“Say… say that again.” I swallowed heavily. He was talking. He was actually talking, and I couldn’t have enough of his voice.
“I want Rose.”
“We’re going home now.”
“Rose come with us.”
“Rosalie. Her name is Rosalie,” I whispered as I locked the door to the cabin and secured it.
“Rose-ly.”
“Yes, Rose-ly.”
All the way to our trailer, he kept babbling about her, about the trees, the leaves, and how he wanted new toys. I couldn’t believe it! He was in my arms, gesturing and fussing about, and I felt like I was walking in a dream. We reached the trailer, and I let him slip to the floor. He gathered his toy cars and stuffed bears and started playing, all the while describing what he was doing, like children usually did. I fell onto the couch, staring at him like a stupid man. He’d never talked when he lived with Krista. He’d never even said “momma” or “dadda”. And now he’d said her name. Rosalie’s name. It was as if he’d completely attached himself to her, and almost as if… her breastmilk was doing something. It was good for him.
I ran a hand through my hair. Pinched the bridge of my nose. Why was I feeling guilty all of a sudden? I shouldn’t have treated her so badly. I stood up, took the gun out of the back of my jeans, and placed it in the safe. The safe was the only expensive thing in my trailer, and I’d bought it the day Milo was born. What the hell was wrong with me? The loss I’d suffered was too fresh. It was too soon to hope that the wound of knowing that I would never see her again, touch her, smell her skin and her hair again was going to heal. Krista had come from a bear shifter community that wasn’t far from ours. I’d taken her body to her parents, and they didn’t even let me attend the funeral. I didn’t go to them empty-handed, either. A few she-bears from the trailer park had accompanied me, and we’d made sure to take some food with us, as well as some of Krista’s belongings. Her parents took what we brought but chased us away. They didn’t want Milo, either. They’d never agreed to Krista leaving her community to join mine, and they’d never liked me. They’d always wanted her to marry someone they knew, someone who had something to his name. I was too poor for them and their daughter. Too dirty, too uneducated. Maybe they were right.
“After all, look at how I’m treating Rosalie,” I whispered to myself.
Milo heard me and turned to me. He gave me a toothy grin. “Rose-ly. When she come here?”
“Soon,” I caught myself saying. I couldn’t take it back, so why not? “Today.”
“Okay.”
I didn’t know what to do with myself. For a few minutes, I just paced like mad. But there wasn’t enough space for me to pace in the trailer. I stepped outside, leaving the door open so I could keep an eye on Milo. One of my neighbors greeted me.
“Hanging in there, Brooks?”
I nodded.
He patted my shoulder. “It’ll get better, you’ll see. Time heals all wounds.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. Everyone was trying to show compassion, but all I saw was pity. I was a single father. Woe was me. No, I couldn’t let it go on like this, or I’d have to leave the community I’d built myself. I needed to do something. Things needed to change around here. Milo needed a mother, and I guessed I needed… a female. I went inside, grabbed my cub, and rushed back into the woods. If Rosalie saw him with me, maybe he wouldn’t fear me as much. I was aware that the sight of me alone made her shake with fear.
She was still asleep when I reached the cabin. Of course. I had barely been gone for an hour. I put Milo down, and he sprinted on his short, stubby legs toward her bed. She crawled in with her and poked her in the ribs. Rosalie moaned and turned on her side. Milo didn’t give up. He climbed on top of her, fell on his face, sat back up, then proceeded to pull at her