his wrists, and I took a deep breath when I felt his warmth, felt the cords under the skin, the muscles of his forearm. He was exactly as I remembered, felt exactly as I remembered. “I’m sorry, I can’t stop crying.” I took a deep breath and tried to stop it, but I couldn’t. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought…”
“You could never lose me.” His thumbs wiped away my tears again. “Because when I told you I loved you, I meant it. I just… It took me a long time to cool off.” He rested his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry I put you through that.”
I pulled his hands off my face and moved into his chest, letting my wet face soak his cotton shirt, let my makeup stain it even though it probably cost four hundred dollars. My arms circled his waist, and I squeezed him hard, unable to believe this was real, it wasn’t a dream that made me jerk awake in the middle of the night.
His arms circled my waist, and he held me close, his head in the crook of my neck. He breathed hard as he touched me, his hard body softening, like he needed this as much as I did. “I missed you…”
I breathed into his shirt, crying, my eyes shut tight. “I missed you…so much.”
I took my assistant position back from Matt without asking Deacon’s permission, because I assumed his answer was obvious. One of my favorite things about my job was taking care of him, my favorite client, and I really went out of my way to make every single day special for him.
I knocked on his door but didn’t let myself inside like I used to. He said he wanted to take things slow, and I really didn’t understand what that meant, so I behaved like we were friends, like we were in the beginning of our old relationship. I didn’t try to kiss him. I didn’t ask him out. I just…let him steer the ship.
As long as we were together, I didn’t care about the specifics.
“Come in.”
I let myself inside, carrying a stack of mail and a package. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He was at the dining table, and he rose to his feet like he used to and walked to me.
I looked at him, transfixed by his handsome appearance, so happy to see his eyes turn soft once more. “I’ve got a few things for you. I paid all your bills…I assumed you wouldn’t mind.”
“No.”
I handed him the package. “This looked important, so I thought I would bring it up right away.”
He examined the sender’s address before he carried it back to the table and set it down, like it wasn’t important enough for him to open it.
I stayed by the door even though I would have loved to crawl into his bed right now. I didn’t even want sex. I just wanted to be naked with him, to feel our bodies wrapped together, to sleep beside him, watch him breathe. I didn’t help myself to a seat at his dining table or linger. If all I got was the occasional conversation with him, that was fine with me. “Let me know if you need anything else.” I turned back to the door.
“Can I take you to dinner tonight?”
I stilled at the question, my heart immediately racing more than it already was. I slowly turned back to him, surprised he’d asked me. He’d fixed the parameters of my job so I could publicly date him without consequence, so I didn’t have to hide anything anymore. It was wonderful, not to reject him like I used to. “I’d love that.”
“I’ll pick you up in a few hours.”
It was such a drive to Brooklyn during rush hour, and by the time he got there, drove me back here for dinner, and then dropped me off again…it was just a terrible use of time. “How about we just leave straight from the lobby?”
“You working late tonight?”
“No. It’s just really out of the way.”
He cocked an eyebrow.
“I moved to Brooklyn,” I explained.
He still looked confused. “Why?”
“After I lost my job, I couldn’t afford my apartment…”
His eyes fell, like he felt terrible even though it wasn’t his fault.
“It’s fine. I like my place. It’s just out of the way now.” That was a lie. I hated that shithole. The only room in the apartment with a door was the bathroom, but the rest of it was just a big open space, all my furniture stuffed into