continued to stare.
“What?”
“I know you told me to butt out, but you reject every woman who comes on to you, consistently.”
I dropped my gaze and took a drink.
“It’s fine that you don’t want to be with someone else. But if you aren’t with the one person you actually want to be with, it just doesn’t make any sense, Deacon. What the hell are you doing?”
I didn’t have a clue.
“Deacon?”
I raised my gaze. “What?”
“Answer the question.”
“Assumed it was rhetorical.”
“Well, it’s not. Answer me.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, Tucker.”
“You don’t know?” he asked incredulously. “Yes, you do. Be with Cleo.”
I dropped my gaze again.
“You’re obviously in love with her. No other reason you’re turning down ass left and right, otherwise.”
I stared at my beer. “I am in love with her.”
Tucker stilled, like he couldn’t believe what I’d said.
I’d never told him how I felt about her. I was never one to broadcast my feelings.
“Then why aren’t you with her?”
“I just… I don’t know.”
He leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “Deacon, don’t drag your feet on this. It’s already been months. You wait too long, and she’ll end up with somebody else.”
“I love her, but I’m not ready to be in a relationship again.”
“Then tell her that.”
“Tell her what?” I asked. “That I don’t want to be with her? I think that’s pretty clear.”
“No. Tell her you want to take it slow. That you’re still there, you just need time.”
I drank from my beer.
“Tell her, or I’ll tell her. Because it’s been a long time since you broke up, and she could end up with someone else.”
“She told me she wouldn’t…”
“Because she was waiting for you. But that was a month ago. You haven’t spoken to her or given her any indication there’s even a slim chance of getting you back. She can’t read your mind, Deacon.”
“She knows I love her.”
“So?” he demanded.
“That means I’ll always love her.”
His eyes softened. “Then sit down and talk to her. Tell her this. It’ll come off a lot better coming from you than me.”
“But—”
“I’m not bluffing, Deacon. Talk to her—or I will.”
Eighteen
Cleo
I’d just walked into my apartment when my phone rang.
It was Deacon
I carried a bag of groceries in my arms, and the second I saw his name on my phone, I dropped the bag straight onto the floor. The milk carton burst and spilled, and a couple oranges rolled out. I didn’t care at all.
I took the call, so excited, so hopeful. “Hey.” Even though he never texted me or gave me any indication he would change his mind, I continued to hope, continued to dream. And maybe it was finally happening.
“Cleo?” Derek’s high-pitched voice came over the line.
It wasn’t what I’d wanted, but I missed him so much that I was thrilled to hear his voice. “Derek? Oh my god… How are you, little man?”
“Good. Dad is in the shower right now, so I took his phone.”
So, he didn’t know about this conversation. That hurt all over again.
“I miss you.”
It was the sweetest thing I’d heard in so long. “I miss you too. How’s school been?”
“I get along with everyone in class. And we’re doing really cool projects. Right now, we’re doing this sustainability thing, where we farm in the school garden.”
I moved to the couch and forgot about the groceries, hanging on every word like a parent. “Wow, that’s cool. Any field trips?”
“We’re going to a Native American reservation next week!”
“That will be so interesting.”
“Yeah. And then my teacher said…”
I pulled the blanket over my lap and felt my eyes glisten with tears, so touched by his sweet voice. I missed him every day, missed our adventures to the cabin, missed the special relationship we had. I loved him like a son, like family. And losing him had been as painful as losing his father.
Derek talked my ear off for a while, but then he turned away from the phone for a second. “The water just turned off… I should go.”
I didn’t want to say goodbye. Ever. “Alright. Thanks for calling me, Derek. It means a lot.”
“I know you and my dad aren’t together anymore, but I know he misses you. I know he loves you. I told him to get you back, but he doesn’t really say anything…”
I started to cry, but I stopped my tears from becoming audible. “I love him too…so much.”
“Don’t give up on my dad, okay?” he whispered.
I could wait a long time, but if the ship never came into port…I’d have to move on. But my