V rubbed the center of his chest and blinked. He never cried but he felt as if he
could at this moment.
Butch nodded as if he knew exactly what was doing. «Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You
and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although… if you're into sheep, that would
be tough. Don't know if I could handle that.»
V had to smile. «I don't do farm animals.»
«Can't stand hay in your leathers?»
«Or wool in my teeth.»
«Ah.» Butch looked back over. «So what's the answer, V?»
«What do you think it is?»
«I think you've done males.»
«Yeah. I have.»
«But I'm guessing…» Butch wagged his finger. «I'm guessing you don't like them any more than
the females you Dom. Both sexes are irrelevant to you in the long run because you've never
really cared about anyone. Except for me. And… your surgeon.»
V dropped his eyes, hating that he was so transparent, but not really surprised by the thin-veil
routine he was sporting. He and Butch were like that. No secrets. And in that vein… «I probably
should tell you something, cop.»
«What?»
«I raped a male once.»
Man, you could have heard crickets chirping for the silence.
After a while Butch sank back down on the bench. «You did?»
«Back in the warrior camp, if you beat someone while sparring, you fucked them in front of the
rest of the soldiers. And I won the first fight I was in after my transition. The male… I guess he'd
consented in a way. I mean, he submitted, but it wasn't right. I… yeah, I didn't want to do it to
him, but I didn't stop.» V took out a cigarette from his pocket and stared down at the thin white
roll. «It was right before I left the camp. Right before… other things happened to me.»
«Was that your first time?»
V took out his lighter but didn't strik up a flame. «Helluva way to start, huh.»
«Jesus…»
«Anyway, after I was out in the world for a while, I experimented with a lot of shit. I was really
angry and… yeah, just totally pissed off.» He looked over at Butch. «There's not much I haven't
done, cop. And most of it's been hard-core, if you feel me. There's always been consent, but it
was-it still is-on the rails.» V laughed tightly. «As well as curiously forgettable.»
Butch was quiet for a time. Then he said, «I think that's why I like Jane.»
«Huh?»
«When you look at her? You actually see her, and when's the last time that's happened for you?»
V geared himself up, then stared hard into Butch's eyes. «I saw you. Even though it was wrong. I
saw you.»
Shit, he sounded sad. Sad and… lonely. Which made him want to change the subject.
Butch clapped V on the thigh, then stood up, as if he knew exactly what V was thinking. «Listen,
I don't want you to feel bad. It's my animal magnetism. I'm irresistible.»
«Smart-ass.» V's smile didn't last long. «Don't get your romantic side fired up about me and Jane,
buddy. She's human.»
Butch's jaw dropped and he pulled a bobble. «No, really? That's such a shocker! And here I
thought she was a sheep.»
V shot Butch a fuck-ya stare. «She's not into me like that. Not really.»
«You sure about that?»
«Yup.»
«Huh. Well, if I were you I might test that theory before you let her go.» Butch shoved a hand
through his hair. «Listen, I… shit.»
«What?»
«I'm glad you told me. About the sex stuff.»
«None of it was a news flash.»
«True. But I figure you came out with it because you trust my ass.»
«I do. Now drag it back to the Pit. Marissa's got to be coming home soon.»
«She is,» Butch headed for the door but then paused and looked over his shoulder. «V?»
Vishous raised his stare. «Yeah?»
«I think you should know, after all this deep conversatin'…» Butch shook his head gravely. «We
still ain't dating.»
The two of them busted out laughing, and the cop was still yukking it up as he disappeared into
the gym.
«What's so funny?» Jane asked.
V braced himself before looking at her, hoping like hell she didn't know how hard it was for him
to front like he was level. «My buddy's just being an ass. It's his life's work.»
«Everyone needs a purpose.»
«True.»
She sat down on the bench across the way, and his eyes ate her up like he'd been in the dark for
ages and she was a candle.
«Are you going to need to feed again?» she asked.
«Doubt it. Why?»
«Your coloring is off.»
Well, having your chest this tight will do that to a guy. «I'm good.»
There was a long silence. Then she said, «I was worried in there.»
The