she'd taken a gander at what was doing with John's leg.
When he whistled softly at her, she just shook her head and kept moving, making a circle around the room. Turned out the trip by all the stainless-steel cabinets with their glass-front doors and their caged medications wasn't a big help: Her heart thundered even more in her chest, going all Bon Jovi on her--the pounding so loud her eardrums were getting an aerobic workout.
God, she'd been struggling since the moment she'd come in here with him. And now he was being cut open and then sewed back together?
She was going to fucking lose it.
Although honestly . . . if she tried to be logical about it, that was nuts. One, it wasn't her body getting worked on. Two, leaving that slug of lead in him was clearly not a good idea. And three . . . helllllllo . . . he was being treated by someone who'd already proven she knew her way around a scalpel.
Great rationalizations. All of which her adrenal gland middle-fingered and then carried right on.
Weren't phobias fun.
The second whistle was a demand and she stopped opposite John, lifting her eyes to his face. He was cool and relaxed. No hysterics, no freakout, nothing but calm forbearance of what was coming. I'm going to be fine, he signed. Jane's done this a million times before.
395
Jesus Christ, where the hell was all the air in this room, Xhex thought-Like he knew he was losing her, he whistled again and held out his hand with a frown.
"John . . ." When no coherent words came, she shook her head and went back to the pacing. She hated this. She truly hated this. As the door swung wide, Doc Jane came back in with Ehlena. The two were in the middle of a conversation about the procedure and John whistled at them. When he held up his forefinger to indicate he needed a minute, the females nodded and ducked out again.
"Shit," Xhex said, "don't stop them. I'll be all right." As she headed for the door to call the doctor back in, a thunderous sound reverberated through the room. Thinking John had fallen off the gurney, she wheeled around-No, he'd punched the stainless-steel table and left a dent in it. Talk to me, he signed. And they're not coming in until you do. She had the urge to argue and the vocabulary to do it--just not the voice, evidently. Try as she did, she couldn't manage to say a thing. Which was when he opened his arms to her.
Cursing herself, she said, "I'm going to man up here. I'm going to so be twenty-one. You're not going to believe how tight in the head I'm going to be. Really. For real."
Come here, he mouthed.
"Oh . . . hell." Giving up, she went over and embraced him. Into his neck, she said, "I don't do this medical thing well. In case you haven't noticed before. I'm sorry, John . . . damn it, I'm always letting you down, aren't I."
He caught her before she could pull away. Holding her in place with his eyes, he signed, You saved my life tonight. I wouldn't be alive right now unless you'd thrown that blade. So you aren't always letting me down--and as for this? I'm not worried and you don't have to watch--go and wait up at the house. It's going to be over quickly. Don't torture yourself.
"I'm not running scared." Moving quickly so she couldn't think too much and neither could he, she took his face in her hands and kissed him hard. "But maybe waiting outside is a good idea." After all, she couldn't very well have Doc Jane stop in the middle to treat some pansy bystander with a case of the vapors. Or a concussion because the idiot had passed out cold on the floor.
Probably for the best, John mouthed.
Breaking away, she put one foot after the other to the door and let in 396
Ehlena and Doc Jane. As the physician passed, Xhex grabbed the female's arm.
"Please . . ." God, what could she say.
Doc Jane nodded. "I got him. Don't worry." Xhex took a shuddering breath and wondered how in the hell she was going to get through the wait out in the hall. Knowing the way her mind worked, she'd have John screaming silently in pain and Doc Jane removing his whole leg as the minutes dragged by-"Xhex . . . mind if I suggest something?"