Sarah said. “Except I’m starving. Come on, let’s find something to eat.”
He still wore his suit, whereas Sarah had changed into the jersey pants and hoodie she wore to the airport the night before. She had also straightened her hair again after the shower, treating the process like a meditation as she reflected on the e-mail she composed.
Her finger had hesitated just a little too long, she thought, before finally hitting Send. But once the message was gone, she could relax. And wait for the storm to brew.
“So,” Joe said as he drove away from the hotel, “almost makes you miss Paul, doesn’t it?”
“Let’s not talk about it yet,” Sarah said. “I want to have a nice dinner with you. We can talk later.”
She reached out for his hand, and he lifted hers to his lips and kissed it. “I just want you to know it’s going to be all right,” Joe said.
“I know. But feed me first.”
They found a decent-looking Italian restaurant not far from the hotel. As the two of them walked to the entrance, their hands intertwined, Sarah said, “I think this might count as a date.”
Joe paused to take her into his arms. He kissed her with a kind of possessiveness no one would mistake as appropriate for a first date. Sarah laughed when he let her go. “Pace yourself,” she said.
“Why are you in such a good mood?” he asked.
“Because you’re here, and I’m with you, and we’re actually out in public together for once.”
“We were in public on your birthday,” Joe pointed out.
“Not for very long.”
The hostess seated them at a table small enough that their knees touched underneath. Joe kept a hold on Sarah’s hand. It was sweet, she thought, just being out with him like this. And exactly the kind of thing she needed after the rough day they’d had.
Although the way he was stroking his thumb across her knuckles reminded her that being alone with him in his hotel room, eating room service or takeout, also would have had its merits. Sarah’s eyes met his, and from the subtle way his mouth curved up, she could tell he’d been thinking the same thing.
“You’re buying me dinner first, Burke.”
His chuckle was low and suggestive. “Who said I wasn’t?”
She reached over and stroked the dark stubble on his cheek. “You look tired.” He covered her hand with his and brought her palm to her lips. Sarah smiled at the seductive feel of his kiss against her sensitive flesh.
Hardly anything is secret, boys and girls. She had quick flash of how they might look if someone took a picture of them just then. But she managed to shake it off. It doesn’t matter, she reminded herself. It’s over.
When the food arrived, Sarah attacked hers like a wrestler. She remembered feeling this hungry after her first week of training with Angie. Her body seemed to realize that Sarah was about to put more and more demands on it, and for the next several weeks her stomach felt like a bottomless pit. She could eat every two to three hours without ever feeling full.
Maybe her body understood what was happening now, Sarah thought. It knew it needed its strength because it was about to go to war.
“You about done?” Sarah asked once she’d eaten every morsel of her spaghetti in marinara.
Joe leaned back and surveyed what was left on his plate. “Are you making me a better offer?”
“Only one way to find out,” Sarah said.
As they walked out to his car, Joe’s arm around her waist, Sarah couldn’t help wondering how long their happy, romantic mood would last. She guessed it would evaporate within the next half hour. But she didn’t regret what she had done. Wished she didn’t have to do it, yes. But regret how she’d handled it, no.
She just hoped that Joe would see it that way.
Thirty-eight
It was different this time when Joe opened the door to his room. Instead of the two of them rushing into each other’s arms, Sarah moved to the bed alone. She kicked off her shoes, then pulled out the pillows from beneath the bedspread and fluffed them against the headboard. She propped herself up on one of them and waited while Joe removed his own shoes, his coat and tie, then joined her on the bed.
Sarah draped her closest leg over Joe’s. “Okay, go,” she told him. “Don’t leave anything out.”
“I let him gloat for a while,” Joe said. “That seemed important. He wanted to make sure