gives me another squeeze.
I want to say good-bye to Maverick before I leave, just to let him know that I’m here and that I’ll be coming right back.
I walk over to his bed and brush some of his hair away from his face, feeling the softness of his hair, remembering when everything was okay, prior to the accident. I lean down first and whisper in his ear, “I love you baby and I will be right back, don’t worry, I won’t be gone for long, promise.”
I kiss him lightly on the lips and turn to give Robert and Carol a hug each, before I walk out the door.
When I make it back to my hospital room, I spot my mom just waking up and give her the details. Immediately I can tell there’s going to be an issue.
“You think your dad is really going to let you come back here?” mom asks.
“You do realize this is an unnecessary fight just waiting to happen, right?” Her attitude and demeanor have completely changed since last night. It’s like it was all an act.
I have never been disrespectful before to my mom. Maybe I was a little last night, but I was upset and didn’t know what was going on with Maverick and I did say please.
I think to myself, “Charlie, here is your chance to stand up for yourself.”
Sure, the hospital room may not be the best place, to do this, but hell I don‘t care. I need to do this and things need to be said.
I finally just let it all out and say, “Do you even have a clue with what I deal with and what hell I go through at home? Do you ever pay attention? Or better yet, have you ever realized or thought what the comments dad makes, has done to me? I’m damaged mom. The only thing good in my life right now, is Maverick. He’s the only person to ever help me feel good about myself.”
I can’t keep the tears from falling and I just let them out. You know when you say things out loud, sometimes it clicks and you get it? This is a moment of clarity for me.
I start to reexamine just how a mother should be.
A mother is supposed to do more. They’re supposed to protect and keep anyone from ever hurting you. I've been hurt my whole entire life or at least for as long as I can remember. It took seeing another family and how they treat each other to see that my experience isn’t normal. Not any of it is. My mom has either excused herself and left the room, or sat idly by and listened to it all. Who does that? That isn’t how it should be.
I take a moment to recall Carol and see how she is with Maverick. Being in their home for the first time was nerve racking to say the least. But the longer I was there and saw how they genuinely liked each other, the more I saw what it would be like to have that for myself. Or any sort of love from my father for that matter. My dad acts like he hates me. But why? What have I ever done for him to hate me like he does? I have never been in trouble. I have always done what was asked of me.
I also remember the very first time I got to meet Shelby, Tori’s mom. How comfortable and at home I felt the minute I walked into their home. Tori’s mom and dad are divorced, but it didn’t seem to faze either of them. Or at least not on the surface.
Mrs. Easton had walked up to me, giving me a motherly hug. She pulled slightly back, leaving her hands on my arms, “Charlie, I’m so happy to finally meet you. Tori talks about you all of the time. Thank you for being such a good friend to her, you’re just as pretty as Tori said you are.”
I’m still getting used to being called pretty and I remember blushing. “Thank you. Mrs. Eaton,” I had said.
“Oh, Charlie please don’t call me that, it makes me feel old, she laughed. Please call me Shelby.”
Tori is a younger version of her mother. I remember thinking that Shelby really looked like an older sister.
We had laughed and joked the rest of the evening until I had to go home. I remember not wanting to leave.
Seeing a mother and daughter laugh and joke