trudging up to the flat. I wish she were usually as easy to dismiss, although there’s a part of me that misses our regular chats.
‘There you are,’ says Erica opening the door with a flourish. ‘I thought you must have got lost.’
‘No, just a busy day. Had to do some planning for the next few lessons and you know how it is.’ I stumble into the flat, dump my bags in the decontaminating corner and wash my hands thoroughly. We have this rule in our flat that any bags or parcels or things from the currently potentially toxic outside world are left in the corner for anything from a few hours to a couple of days to get rid of any potential germs. I also wipe things off at regular intervals with sprays and cloths. Disinfectant wipes are simply impossible to get hold of now, along with yeast and flour. It’s as though this pandemic has made everyone into cleanliness freaks, germophobes and wannabe bakers. I have an old bread machine, which was Mum’s back in the day. It probably still works but I haven’t been able to try it out as you can’t get yeast at any price.
Fortunately for everyone, the general population seems to have realised that toilet rolls are not going to run out any time soon and there are plenty available in the shops now. Shame I ordered fifty rolls on the internet, but I expect we’ll get through them eventually.
‘Cup of tea?’ I offer Erica, as I flick the kettle on.
‘I’d love one thanks.’
I bumble about making the tea and eating biscuits at the same time. I always come in from work super hungry. ‘Good shift at the hospital last night?’
‘Yeah it was okay. We had a dad who got angry about the social distancing thing, but he settled down in the end after the baby was born. Got a bit hairy at one point though.’
‘Sounds stressful. That’s ridiculous – you’re only trying to protect his family.’
‘I know. It was. I came in, drank a large brandy and went straight to sleep.’
‘Don’t blame you.’
‘I found this on the balcony.’ She holds up the wine box and the remnants of what looks like a bacon bap with a letter tucked in next to it.
‘Oh? That’s random.’ I buzz round the kitchen nonchalantly.
‘It’s from Jack. I thought you’d want to read it.’
‘Not really.’ I busy myself adding sugar to Erica’s tea, spending an inordinate amount of time stirring it.
‘You’re going to wear the pattern off the inside of the mug in a minute. Come on spill – something happened with Jack didn’t it?’
‘Not really.’ I take a bite of custard cream.
‘You can’t fool me. Come on, Soph, you’ll feel better talking about it.’
I fling myself down on the sofa and take a revitalising sip of tea. ‘I s’pose. It’s just I really liked him. I still do, but I can’t stand people who hold stuff back. It’s really not okay in a relationship.’
‘But you’re not really in a relationship are you? You’re just mates. You haven’t even seen each other.’
‘I know, but I guess I felt there was more than that, like he really understood stuff. It was as though there was a connection.’
‘And?’
‘And he just suddenly announces he’s got a wife.’
Erica almost drops the wine box she’s still holding. ‘Oh okay that’s bad. I didn’t see that coming.’
‘No one saw that coming.’ I’ve since been wondering if maybe I should have, replaying our conversations, trying to work out if I’m overreacting or if he’s just another disappointment.
‘But didn’t he mention anything about her before?’
‘No, yes. Well no not really, but I guess it never came up.’
‘So maybe he didn’t deliberately hide her from you.’
‘I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. You know I have issues with this sort of thing after Ryan was the most emotionally unavailable man on the planet. I vowed I would never go out with or confide in anyone like that again.’
‘Has Jack tried explaining?’
‘He sent a text but I haven’t read it.’
‘Why not? At least give him a chance. He seemed really decent and I just can’t imagine from what you’ve said about him he’s the sort of guy to keep a hidden wife.’
I laugh. ‘You make him sound like Rochester in Jane Eyre.’
‘Ha-ha, no idea who you’re talking about. Anyway, if you’re not going to look at his text, I’m going to read you this.’ She takes the folded piece of paper out of the wine box.