and neon green right next to each other. It’s cheery though. How old is she?’
‘Eight,’ I say, carrying the artwork onto the balcony. ‘Have we got any string?’
‘You’ve got to be joking …’ She pauses. ‘Might have some wool or something, in your old sewing basket? Not that you’d know, because you’ve never used it!’
‘I did, years ago. Anyway Mum probably hoped I’d maybe use it for teaching the kids.’
I rummage about and manage to find some wool that isn’t too scrappy and tie the resplendent rainbow on the railings, facing out towards the courtyard below.
‘Don’t you think it might get wet if it rains?’ asks Erica.
‘It hasn’t rained for weeks,’ I say indignantly – and it hasn’t. The sun has shone for days now in some cruel irony of nature, given the hideous situation we all now find ourselves in. The birds have been singing, gathering bits of fluff from the courtyard below ready to make their nests. Spring has well and truly sprung and yet the whole of mankind is battling against a pandemic. I can’t help but think this scenario would give Alanis Morissette inspiration for an entirely new song; the situation is so ironic.
‘Will you do the clap at work?’ I ask Erica, standing back to admire my handiwork, albeit from up above and therefore the wrong way up.
‘You mean clap for ourselves? Bit bizarre.’
‘That’s a bit sad,’ I say. ‘No, I mean for everyone. You’re clapping the NHS workers but also people in the shops and all the key workers.’
‘Of course I will, unless I’m in the middle of delivering a baby – I don’t think the mum would be too chuffed trying to push and yelling for more gas and air if I just stand there clapping.’
‘Yeah, maybe that wouldn’t go down too well.’ I smile. ‘It must be so tough for these mums. I wouldn’t want to be expecting a baby right now.’
‘Me neither,’ says Erica. ‘In fact, after what I’ve seen in the maternity unit, I’m completely rethinking the whole having kids thing. Are we having tuna pasta? I haven’t got long.’
‘It’ll only take ten minutes.’ I pop the kettle on and grab a pan. ‘Can you chop some cucumber for the salad?’
‘I guess …’
Erica is terrific, but she doesn’t really do cooking or washing. In fact, she doesn’t do a lot round the house at all, but she’s lovely to live with all the same. I bet she makes an amazing midwife. She’s totally unflappable and to be fair she also makes a mean cup of tea.
‘Are you still kicking the dads out?’ I ask, opening a tin of tuna.
‘Yep.’
‘Seems a bit 1960s. Mum told me they did that all the time – that and shoving babies on the bottle at the slightest inclination.’
‘No choice; can’t risk infection. It’s for the babies’ sakes as well. I try to make them feel as though they’ve got a friend in the room, though.’
‘I can imagine, and to be fair I’d rather have you there than any man.’
‘Thanks.’ Erica pops a piece of cucumber in her mouth. ‘But I’m not sure that’s much of a compliment considering you hate all men at the moment.’
‘Not all men,’ I protest indignantly, ‘just most of them!’
We down our food as we often do, in front of the TV. We’ve got quite into that drama Quiz about the guy who cheated on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? by getting someone to cough when the right answers were read out.
‘That wife is a bit scary,’ Erica remarks.
‘Yes, to be honest I think she put him up to it,’ I comment.
‘Must have driven them mad; people coughing wherever they went for the next ten years.’
‘Yes, it’s a good job there wasn’t a virus outbreak then – the studio would have been empty.’
The dulcet tones of Dua Lipa blast out. ‘Can’t you change your ring tone? I’ve heard that so many times,’ Erica complains.
‘I love it,’ I say, grabbing my phone. ‘Besides, it gets me moving better than Joe Wicks. Oh, hi, Jess. How’s it going?’
‘Good thanks. Well, as good as it can be considering,’ Jess replies.
‘Yeah I know what you mean. It is a bit weird isn’t it? I can’t believe it’s been a month since we went shopping at Greenham.’
‘I know. It all felt so normal. Little did we know what was coming. I’ve had the most frustrating day too. The server keeps going down and we’ve had so many calls.’
‘How annoying. I guess it’s because everyone’s on