there was even a sign for that, but he watched the way Rocco’s eyes followed the shapes of his fingers—the way they darkened even more.
‘I don’t want to make you feel bad, S.’
S—for Simon. ‘I’m embarrassed. Of course you knew I was a fan, but I…I liked talking with you.’
‘Don’t you think it’s okay to be friends and a fan?’ Rocco challenged. He sat back a little, and Simon felt just a bit more air fill his lungs. ‘I don’t mind.’
Simon wanted to explain better how this all made him feel, but he supposed Rocco wouldn’t be able to understand what it was like to be a terrified virgin baker trapped in this small town.
‘You didn’t ask me to come,’ Rocco said, interrupting Simon’s thoughts. ‘I showed up. If anyone should feel bad, it’s me.’
Simon’s eyes widened. ‘No…’
Rocco’s hand darted out, touching his wrist, quieting his response. ‘I liked talking to you too. There was so much going on and you were the first person that made me feel like more than just a public figure. Everyone wanted details. They wanted to make me bleed emotions for their entertainment.’
Simon’s heart twisted for him. ‘I’m sorry.’
Rocco shook his head, his smile soft. ‘You just asked me if I was okay. So simple, but just what I needed.’ He reached out again, his big hand cupping Simon’s cheek, thumb tracing his jaw. Simon’s dick throbbed so hard, it was a miracle right then he didn’t spill. He was on edge though—too close—but Rocco pulled away just in time. ‘Thank you.’
Simon wanted to sit there forever, to feel Rocco touching him forever, but the weight of his jeans against his dick was too much. ‘I need…toilet,’ he spluttered. He was on his feet and racing for the bathroom before he could see Rocco’s response. The moment the door slammed, he ripped at his zipper. He got his dick out seconds before his balls went tight and he shot, missing the toilet and hitting the edge of the sink. His moan was loud, ripping from his chest, and he panicked only for the second it took to remember Rocco wouldn’t hear it.
“Fuck,” he said again, the word too common since Rocco had showed up in his doorway. His sweaty hand dragged down the front of his face, and he forced himself to straighten up, to look in the mirror. His cheeks were so splotchy his freckles stood out like tattoos against his skin—dark and far too visible. His nostrils flared as his erratic breathing fought to go back to normal, and he wondered if losing his virginity was even possible by this point.
He’d spent years coming without touching himself—losing all restraint at the thought of Rocco’s hands on him. He laughed, the sound anguished and bitter, because it would be absolutely no surprise if Simon had ruined himself for anyone else. After all—ruining everything was what he did, whether he wanted to or not. His limp, come-covered dick hanging out through the slit in his boxers was proof enough why he had no chance with Rocco—why Rocco shouldn’t even be there.
Simon took his time clearing up the mess and washing his hands, and he was mostly put together by the time he stepped out. The pizza would be there soon, and he found Rocco on the sofa holding James on his lap. The cat was nowhere to be found, but that didn’t surprise him from the way he’d raced out of the room.
He gave a sheepish smile to the other man who beckoned him to sit back down, and Simon appreciated being able to lower to the cushions without the weight of his erection between his legs.
‘Sorry,’ he started, but Rocco waved him off.
‘Are you okay? You looked like you were going to be sick.’
Simon shook his head. ‘No, I’m not sick. It’s been a long day. Long week.’ Long life, he thought, but he didn’t add that. It felt wrong to drop his angst and frustration on this man who had come seeking some peace from the mess his life had become. ‘Pizza will be here soon.’
Rocco hummed quietly in the back of his throat, then he pushed James off to the side and shifted closer. Simon felt the familiar stirrings of want heating up in his belly, but not enough to be a problem—not yet.
‘Does your brother live here?’
Not the question he’d been expecting, but if anything was boner-killer, it was talking about his relationship with Levi. ‘No. He used to, but