Love Him Free (On the Market #1) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,102

and curled his hand around the back of Simon’s neck, drawing him close. Levi outgrew Simon by the time he was fifteen—stood now at least three inches taller, but until this moment, Levi had never felt bigger than him. “I’m not entirely ready to let go, but that’s okay.”

Simon shook his head. “Is it?”

Levi squeezed his fingers tighter, and it was painful, but comforting, keeping Simon present. “Yes. If I’ve learned anything from being with James, it’s that discomfort can be…cathartic. And necessary.” He let up on his grip and Simon looked up at him. “Letting this go doesn’t mean letting me go.”

Old habits died hard, though, and Simon’s vow to keep Levi safe in exchange for everything he was still rang in his ears. “Bubbe would have done this, right?”

Levi sneered a bit. “She might not have rented to some guy who could put her favorite grandson out of business but…” His mouth softened. “Yes, she would have done this. She would not have taken out a loan for me and put herself at risk of crushing financial debt for a food truck, though.”

Simon smiled, but a big part of him wasn’t so sure. Bubbe had loved him, yes, but she had cherished her little Levi to the ends of the earth. And Simon didn’t mind so much, after all. Levi saw it with his own lens—saw the way Bubbe had loved and protected Simon to a fault, and he saw it as rejection.

Simon saw Bubbe’s suffocating protection as a way of telling him he was never strong enough—and when she dumped the failing bakery on him it had been solely because he was there, he was of age, and he was already broken. She had loved Levi more—because she wanted more for him, believed he was capable of something else.

But maybe they were both wrong.

“I think we are,” Levi said, and Simon realized he’d said most of that out loud. “Nothing’s changing. Nothing real is changing,” Levi told him.

Simon swallowed thickly and nodded. “I know.” Though he didn’t, but he would. Eventually. “I should get going. I want to grab breakfast before Rocco wakes up.”

Levi nodded, then moved to the end of the breakfast bar and swiped up one of his pastry boxes, handing it off to Simon. “The brie and bacon are on the left, strawberry and rhubarb on the right. I made sure this time.”

Simon wrinkled his nose, but took it anyway and fought back a too-large grin. “Thanks.”

“Tell your sugar daddy I said hi and that I’m glad he’s home.”

Blanching, Simon turned away, but he smiled in spite of himself. “You know, he’s not the only one now, right? You should see my bank account.”

“Shut the hell up or I will watch your porn, Simon. I will have a porn party and invite the whole town.”

At that, Simon did laugh, big and hearty and full of life. He let Levi show him to the door, then turned and nodded at his brother. “You’ll help me pack?”

“Elohim yishmor, yes,” he said, exasperated but grinning. “Now get the hell out of my apartment.”

“Say hi to human James,” Simon called back as he started away from the door. He heard the echo of Levi’s chuckle as Simon headed to his car. He didn’t feel entirely better—and he probably never would. This was almost his entire life that was being packed up in small boxes and either stored or moved across the country.

And he was saying goodbye—for now, maybe for a little while. Maybe longer.

But it was time.

Simon swiped a hand over his forehead before walking to the window and pushing it open further. It wasn’t just the late August heat, but the dust in the air scattered from old boxes that was making it hard to breathe. And the fact that it was happening. Simon’s bank account was full—his loan paid off, a nest egg sitting quietly, and life was okay.

But he was still selling. He was still packing away these bits and pieces of his life—his childhood, his teenage years, the tortured adulthood he’d nearly withered away behind these walls until Levi forced him into the open.

He felt raw some days. Therapy was helping, but there wasn’t really a cure for his condition. There were meds he wasn’t taking just yet—keeping them on hand felt better than actually starting. He was managing okay on his own with the help of the soft-spoken woman in Colorado Springs who also had a few recommendations for when he got to