Love Him Free (On the Market #1) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,101
nodded, then spelled his name before offering his sign name. ‘Rocco. ASL okay?’
Wilder grinned. ‘Perfect. Is there a strong Deaf Community here?’
At that, Simon’s face fell. ‘No, not really. They’ve been great about learning, but there’s not a lot of opportunity here without more Deaf people. But they do try.’
Wilder didn’t look bothered. ‘I’m CODA, and HoH. I think I’ll be okay.’
Simon grinned, then turned to unlock the shop and flicked on the lights. His footsteps echoed, and he knew it was because a lot of the place had been packed up. He hadn’t shut the doors—not yet, but it was starting to look empty. His heart ached a little bit, but at the sight of wonder and promise on Wilder’s face, the pain eased.
‘This is amazing,’ Wilder signed after a few minutes. ‘This is…exactly what I was looking for.’
Simon took a breath, and ignored the twist in his chest when he asked, ‘Do you want to see upstairs?’
Wilder’s smile widened, and he nodded.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Simon lifted his curled fist to the door, hesitated, then dropped it. He took a breath, then forced himself to knock, shifting from one foot to the other until it opened, and his brother stood there looking sleepy and disgruntled.
“Did I wake you up?” Simon asked.
Levi narrowed eyes at him, but instead of answering, turned on his heel and walked back into the apartment, leaving the door open. Simon only waited a moment before following him in, and moved into the kitchen at the smell of coffee.
“James always fucking wakes me up when he has an early shift at the Lodge,” Levi grumbled. He shoved two mugs into the microwave as he pushed the button on his espresso machine. A rich smell filled the air, and Simon saw the little pot of steamed milk sitting already frothed and ready. “I know you’re not here to tell me someone’s dead since we have no family and I follow everyone you do on Twitter.”
The microwave beeped, and Levi took out the mugs, adding in the milk, then the espresso before passing one to Simon. He stared down at the milky liquid, swirling with the caramel color of espresso foam Levi had perfected by the time he was thirteen.
“I don’t want to go.” Simon’s words came out soft, hesitant—almost like he was betraying his own secrets.
Levi made a small noise, then slid up to him, resting his back against the counter, hip pressed to Simon’s. “It’s not forever.” His voice echoed the words Simon had been telling himself since he told Gwen to approve Wilder’s application, but they didn’t bring any comfort.
“No.” Simon took a drink of the coffee and burned his tongue. The café hafuch—a taste of home which was the closest Levi had ever been to Israel—was comforting, but not enough.
The silence stretched on so long, Simon wondered for a moment if he’d made a mistake, coming to Levi. “Why aren’t you with Rocco?”
Simon let out a small scoff. “He’s sleeping off jet lag.” Not a total lie, but not entirely the truth. Rocco was sleeping, but Simon was there because he needed his brother. He took a fortifying breath, then turned to face Levi. “You told me you were ready to move on with your life and stop living…the way I was living. Stop living with someone like me.”
“Simon,” Levi started to protest, but Simon held up a hand.
“I was ready to let you go, but I also made all these big decisions without…” He stopped. He’d gotten Levi’s blessing before he put the bakery on the market, but right now, it didn’t feel like enough. “It was still yours. Whatever those fucking papers said, Levi, it was still yours too.”
Levi set his coffee down and crossed his arms. “I know.”
“I don’t want you to hate me.” The admission came softly, barely above a whisper—but Levi flinched like Simon had shouted. “After all these years of not being able to stand me, I need to know that I can walk away and you’ll want me to come back.”
“I’ll always regret not telling you I loved you more after…” Levi swallowed, and Simon knew what he meant. After Bubbe died. Before Bubbe’s death, Levi was sweet—he was a pain in the ass, but he was affectionate and he looked at Simon like Simon was his whole world. Then Bubbe was gone and Simon had to be someone entirely new, and Levi changed—because Simon had changed.