Love Him Free (On the Market #1) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,103

LA.

But he knew anyone would be sad doing this. He glanced over at Levi who had been sitting with the same box for half an hour, and he plopped down next to him, peering over the edge. It was some miscellaneous box Bubbe had thrown together—some of Simon’s old matchbox cars, a tattered dinosaur stuffie Levi had carried with him when he was three, then abandoned by four. Beneath that looked like old report cards and a stack of photos.

Levi had one in his hand, a shot of Simon and Bubbe on the beach. Simon barely recognized it now—the shores of the Mediterranean on the coast of Tel Aviv. He was standing with his feet in the water, and the sea behind him was faded in the photograph, but he remembered how sharply, impossibly blue-green the waters shone in the afternoon sun. He could almost smell it there, almost taste it on the sides of his tongue.

“Do you ever want to go back,” Levi asked quietly.

Simon touched the edge of the photo. “Sometimes, yeah. I mean Abba’s grave is there—might be nice to lay some stones.”

Levi nodded, chewing on his lower lip for a minute. “It never did feel real to me. I mean, I was born there, but it was never mine.”

“You’d like it,” Simon told him. “I hated it for a long time after we got here. I was angry. There were days like this, but there were raids, and bomb threats, and people dying all the time. And it killed Abba. I never understood it.” Simon closed his eyes and could just picture his father—the spitting image of the man Levi was now—the same smile, same eyes, even the same laugh. It didn’t hurt him the way it hurt their mother though. Levi was a way of getting to keep those pieces he’d lost. “Greedy men.”

Levi sighed. “Do you think he would have liked me?”

“I don’t know.” Simon wanted to lie, just to make Levi happy, but that’s where all his problems started with his brother. “He wasn’t around much. Sometimes I thought he’d rather be doing anything else besides being home with us and Ema.”

Levi closed his eyes in a slow blink. “Then I’m glad I got you instead of him.”

Simon’s insides hurt—deep and profound. He never felt like enough, but this was Levi’s way of telling him it was okay. He glanced over and Levi was holding another photo—Simon was twelve, he knew because of the cast on his leg and stitches in his cheek from the crash. He was reclined on the sofa and Levi—the chubby-faced toddler—was fast asleep on his chest. In the photo, Simon’s eyes were closed, and he held on possessively.

Levi made a small noise in the back of his throat. “You loved me.”

Simon laughed, the sound a little harsh. “Yes, Levi.”

“You loved more than she ever did.”

Simon closed his eyes and breathed. The answer was yes. Yes, he loved Levi more than their mother had, and maybe even more than Bubbe. He loved Levi as an extension of himself—though that wasn’t quite true. He loved his brother more than he’d ever loved the reflection that stared back at him in the mirror.

Clearing his throat, he looked down at his hands. “Did you find everything you wanted to keep?”

Levi sighed, then dropped the photo back in the box. “Yeah. The apartment doesn’t have a lot of room. You sure you don’t mind storing it all?”

Simon laughed. “I’m not taking a lot with me. We’re only staying four months.”

“Until people recognize you for the star you are,” Levi said, and Simon’s face erupted into a blush. Levi swore he and James hadn’t watched, but he wouldn’t put it past his brother to peek just to be a shit. “Promise me you won’t be gone forever?”

“I don’t want to be gone at all, but I wanted to do this. I don’t know what the hell to do after, and please don’t say porn.”

“What?” Levi defended as he climbed to his feet. “It makes good money. Though I guess you have your sugar daddy for that.” Simon scoffed and turned away, but Levi caught him by the arm and turned him slowly. “Let’s go see them.”

“It’s not time, Levi. It’s not…”

“Simon,” Levi breathed out. “Don’t. You’ll be in LA for yahrzeit.”

“You know I was planning to come back for it,” Simon started to argue, but Levi gave him a flat look.

Simon knew the truth—he knew he was deflecting because standing over the graves of