in her eyes tells me that it will take more than his arrest to give her closure.
FINLAY HAS BEEN A constant figure around my apartment since I told him about James and his brother a couple of weeks ago. Mum confirmed that the only room that had things missing from it was mine, and it was pictures and underwear, to my utter mortification.
The police are linking it to James, but James wasn’t perverted, so my gut tells me it’s Jackson.
Thank God Mum and Dad weren’t there.
Fear lives inside my chest for them, worrying about him coming for them. It plagues my dreams, despite them reassuring me that they’ve had new alarms fitted and video monitoring installed.
Pulling my attention back to what I’m doing, I step back from the painting I’ve been working on and smile.
It looks great. It’s only the first in the series, but it’s already coming together nicely.
Finlay talking on his phone distracts me and ruins my concentration, so I cover the image and go to the sink to rinse the brushes.
He hasn’t been back to work, putting a lot of pressure on Brad who has to pick up the slack when Finlay can’t be there to do it. It’s a strain on their friendship. In fact, Brad has been non-existent around here these days. We haven’t seen anyone but Gavin, who, more often than not, crashes on the couch if we have a late night. Gabe and Libby are away on holiday so it’s been quiet around here, which I’m grateful for.
My thoughts wander to Gaby’s visit yesterday. She appears to be her old self and in bride mode. She isn’t around as much as usual, but she popped in for a cup of coffee yesterday and we finally got to talk about our dad.
“I’ve been chatting with our dad on the phone.” She drums her fingers on the side of her cup and watches me over the rim. I’m not sure if she’s waiting for me to get jealous or something, but I’m not. It makes me happy that they’re trying to build a relationship.
“That’s wonderful, honestly,” I say, taking her other hand in mine and squeezing.
“Are you sure?”
“Gaby, seriously.”
“He told me that he loved me from afar and was always proud of the girl I grew up to be. That he thought it was truly best to not know for sure because I was loved and wanted, and maybe that was wrong, or maybe it meant I got to have two fathers in the end, and that’s kind of lucky.”
“It sure is.”
I don’t think Finlay is keen on her having another man to look up to and go to for help if she ever needs it. He adored his father, and all this feels like he isn’t important anymore. It’s irrelevant, when in actual fact, he raised and cherished Gaby. It’s going to take time, and with Gaby intent on marrying Mike, he’s going to feel even more pushed out.
Things with us are balancing on a knife-edge. Things feel jaded between us. It’s difficult; this divide was created among the chaos, and trying to close the gap and get back to us is so much harder than it should be.
He’s working hard to keep us together, and I’m holding my fa?ade in place because the thought of losing him causes an ache in my chest so intense I can’t breathe.
Some moments I think we’re killing each other, and maybe too much has happened and we will never get back to what we were because we’re not who we once were. My mind and soul feel like a china cup; life has taken chunks out of me and stuck the pieces back together, but I’ll never be the same. The cracks will leak and be visible no matter how secure the glue.
Waiting to hear from Detective Ross is maddening.
James still hasn’t surfaced, and his mum has been over to see mine, asking for my number. Not telling my parents about James’ brother because I’m a coward backfired, and they found out on their own. I didn’t want them to blame me. It was irrational thinking, but they were my thoughts all the same.
I must make an appointment to see Dr Evans; she can help me find the courage to tell them I’m sorry.
Dad tries to bring it up in conversation after Detective Ross paid them a visit, informing them about Jackson being the suspect in the murder and robbery. I think it gave my mum some