than with Patty?”
“There’s Patty’s boyfriend, Ennis, but I only knew him for the same time I knew Patty.”
“Anyone else?”
“Only once. Her name was Sage. She moved away during the summer between our sophomore and junior years of high school.”
“The summer before you were hospitalized.”
“Yeah.”
“Did losing her have anything to do with your depression?”
“I don’t know. I’m sure it didn’t help. I wrote to her. Five letters, and she didn’t answer any of them.”
“She was young.”
“So was I. We were the same age. If I could write, why couldn’t she?”
“I can’t answer that, Mrs. Steel.”
“Could you call me Daphne, please? I’m nineteen. I don’t feel old enough to be Mrs. Steel.”
“But you are Mrs. Steel. I find it best to keep a professional distance with my patients.”
“Okay.” I twisted my lips. “Maybe I never got over losing Sage, but that’s not enough to send someone into a tailspin.”
“Maybe it was, combined with the bullying.”
“But I don’t even remember the bullying. How can something I don’t remember send me reeling?”
“I’ve said it before. The human mind is a delicate thing. It may not recall actual events, but somewhere, deep in its recesses, it recalls the feelings.”
I lifted my eyebrows. “I don’t understand.”
“No one truly understands the human mind, Mrs. Steel. Not even professionals like me. Especially professionals, to be honest. We study and study and study, read theory after theory, only to be more confused. I can tell you this, though, with regard to your friend Patty. You feel like you should be feeling worse than you are. I think your mind may have trained you not to get too close to a friend again because of the heartbreak you felt when Sage didn’t write you back.”
I lifted my eyebrows again. “Hmm.”
“You were hospitalized for most of your junior year. What happened your senior year?”
“I went back to my high school.”
“And…?”
“I didn’t have any friends. People seemed afraid to approach me, and I heard a lot of whispering.”
“Did they know you’d been hospitalized?”
“No. The story was that I’d been in London studying abroad with a relative.”
“Do you think you imagined the whispering?”
I shook my head. “Absolutely not. I heard more than once that I was a ‘little off.’”
“I see. How did you handle all of that?”
“I threw myself into my studies. I’d always been an excellent student, and this time I truly worked hard. I studied for my college prep tests too, and I became a national merit scholar. I got a full ride to a very competitive college.”
“Then that’s all good.”
“Yes. It seemed so. Except I left college after two months because of my pregnancy.”
“You can return to school.”
“Not to Stilton, where my scholarship is. It’s in Denver, and I live here now.”
“You can go anywhere. Money is hardly an issue for you.”
I shook my head. “College isn’t in the cards for me. I’m a mother first. My baby needs me.”
“You can be a mother and a college student, Daphne.”
“You called me Daphne.”
“I did. I’m sorry.”
“Please, I prefer it. I know I’m young. I hardly seem like a missus.”
He smiled. “Okay. If it means that much to you, Daphne. You worked very hard for your scholarship. Are you sure you’re ready to give up college?”
“My baby is the most important thing in my life. I never knew true love until I had him.”
“Are you saying you’re not in love with your husband?”
“Oh, no. Of course I am. But my feelings for my child are even more intense in a totally different way. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”
“Would you say your child is more important to you than your husband?”
Would I? “I’m not sure. You really can’t compare the two. They’re like apples and oranges.”
“If you had to choose,” Dr. Pelletier said, “which one would you choose?”
“Between my husband and my baby?” I rounded my eyes. “You can’t be asking me that.”
“I am asking you that.”
“I can’t imagine my life without Brad.”
“So you choose Brad?”
“No.” I shook my head vehemently. “I’d choose… I can’t believe I’m saying this. I’d choose my child. I’d choose Jonah.”
He smiled. “Most mothers would make that choice if they had to.”
“Oh!” I heaved a relieved sigh. “You scared me for a minute there.”
“It doesn’t mean you love your husband any less. It just means you’re a normal mother who will do anything to protect her child.”
I nodded. “What does this have to do with Patty? And Sage?”
“You’ve been through a lot in your short life, Daphne. As a psychiatric professional, I need to make sure