and now I forced myself to remember every little detail of my life. I’d faltered a few times, but no more than anyone else.
At least that was what I told myself.
Now, though? No more faltering. “I promise, little dove. I’ll be the best mother in the world, because that’s what you deserve.”
I closed my eyes.
No one else knew yet. I hadn’t told Patty or Ennis or anyone at school. Brad hadn’t told Sean. Or his parents. Next weekend we’d tackle that.
Tackle. That was the word, all right. But with Brad at my side, loving me, and our baby nestled safe in my belly, I could tackle anything.
I could tackle the world.
I’d tackle the world gladly for Brad and my little dove.
Fate had brought Brad Steel into my life. Fate had put this baby inside me. And fate would guide us the rest of the way. I touched my abdomen—
Crash!
I jerked upward.
I scrambled off my bed and out of my room. “Mom? Mom, what happened?”
The house was dark, and my parents’ bedroom door was closed. Mom had gone to bed after her two drinks. How long ago had that been? An hour or so, but no longer.
I knocked on the door. “Mom?”
No reply.
“Mom!”
Still no reply. I turned the knob and entered—
“Mom!”
She lay on the floor next to her bed. I raced to her, knelt down, and shook her shoulder. “Mom, you fell out of bed. Wake up.”
Nothing, so I nudged her harder.
Still nothing—
“Oh my God!”
Next to her on the floor lay several pills and an open prescription bottle. I’d nearly missed them in the dark. I picked up the bottle and read the label.
Valium.
Three white pills lay on the carpeting. How many were in the bottle?
“Damn it, Mom. Wake up!” I shook her hard. “Wake up! How many pills did you take?”
God, what was I supposed to do? This was my mother. She wasn’t perfect, but she was mine, and I couldn’t lose her.
Keep your head, Daphne. Call an ambulance. She needs help.
I’d read about the new 9-1-1 service to call in an emergency. Did we have it in Colorado yet? I had no idea. I kept the bottle in my hand and picked up the princess phone on her nightstand. I dialed zero.
“Operator? I need an ambulance.”
“I’ll connect you.”
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Finally someone came on the line.
“I need an ambulance. My mother’s passed out. She took Valium.”
“Yes, ma’am. Address please.”
I hastily gave our address.
“Thank you. Dispatching now. How much did she take, ma’am?”
“I don’t know.”
“How many pills were in the bottle?”
“I don’t know.”
“The bottle will say how many were prescribed.”
I couldn’t read the small print in the dark. Why hadn’t I turned on a light? I hit the lamp and read the bottle. “Thirty pills.”
“How many milligrams per pill?”
“Can you please just get the ambulance here?”
“I’ve already called for the paramedics, ma’am. I’m getting information from you that I can dispatch to them while they’re on their way.”
“Oh.” That was good. Very good. “Five milligrams.”
“And when was the prescription filled?”
“What?”
“The date on the bottle, ma’am.”
“Right, okay.” I quickly scanned the small print. “Oh, shit. Yesterday.”
“How many pills are left in the bottle, ma’am?”
Tears fell from my eyes. “Three. Only three,” I sobbed.
“Thank you, ma’am. Help is on the way.”
I hung up the phone.
“Brad!” I cried. “Daddy! Where are you?”
I had to find them, tell them what was going on.
Nightcap. My father had asked Brad to go for a nightcap. What was the name of the bar he went to sometimes? It was an Irish pub. An Irish name.
I shook my mother once more. “Mommy, please wake up!”
Her pulse was still visible on her neck. I placed my hand on her flesh. She was cold. So cold, but at least her heart was beating. I lay down next to her and snuggled into her. Please, Mama. Please, don’t leave me.
Be strong.
The words cut into my mind. Dr. Payne’s words. My father’s words. My mother’s words—words she hadn’t heeded herself.
My own words.
Be strong, Daphne.
I had to find my father. What was the name of that pub? I rose. I hated leaving my mother, but I had to find the phone book. Where was it? If I could only remember the name, I could call information.
McFall’s Pub. The memory hurled itself into my mind.
That was it!
Lucy, I’m meeting Bud for a drink at McFall’s.
How many times had my father said those words?
He drank a lot at McFall’s.
My mom drank a lot at home.
I knew this, and I’d never given it much thought.
They were