know it, the next time I saw him after that night was the morning you wrapped yourself around him like a fucking anaconda.”
For a second I could only stare in bewilderment. Then, finally, I found my voice. “How could you do it, Ryan? What’s wrong with you?”
“I told you, I don’t know. It was wrong. I was wrong, and I’m sorry.”
“So sorry that you tried to put poison ivy in his baseball jersey?”
“Come off it, Kelsey!” Ryan exploded. “You think I don’t know the only reason you care about any of this is because it’s him? I could’ve done it to anyone else and you would’ve been over it in five seconds. But because it’s your precious David, it’s the end of the world.”
“Not the end of the world, Ryan.” My windpipe felt pinched shut and I struggled to get my next words out. “The end of us.”
Ryan’s face went pale.
“You’re joking. Kelse, you don’t mean that.” He started toward me, but I stepped behind a chair, blocking his path.
“I mean it, Ry,” I said as I headed down the steps toward the Cliff Walk. “It’s over. I need to go find David.”
“Kelse, wait.” Ryan threw the chair out of his way and came after me. Given that he was faster than me on days when I didn’t have three-inch heels on, I had no hope of outrunning him. He caught my arm and spun me around to face him. “How can you say that? I love you, you know I do.”
“Ryan, I can’t even look at you right now. Let go of me and leave me alone.”
“But I want to talk—”
“LET GO!” I’d yelled loudly enough to get the attention of the other people milling around the expansive lawn, some of whom were chaperones, and Ryan knew it. He dropped my arm, looking exactly the way I felt on the inside: ready to crumble.
“Promise you’ll come find me when you’re ready to talk?”
I nodded, fighting back tears. As much as his confession horrified me, I knew he meant it when he said he loved me. The defeated look on his face all but shattered my heart.
I couldn’t watch him retreat, head bent, sadness in every line of his body. I turned toward the Cliff Walk and slipped off my shoes, knowing what my next step needed to be. For the second time in my life, I was about to turn my back on a boy who loved me. Except this time, I’d do it for all the right reasons.
Thirty
Rhode Island
Senior Year
I jogged toward the Cliff Walk, shoes in one hand, hem in the other, as the salt of the ocean air mingled with the salt of my tears rolling over my lips.
In the distance I spotted David and Violet strolling toward the hotel. He’d given her his tuxedo jacket to wear, and I suddenly realized how cool the night had grown. I ignored the goose bumps that sprang up on my own arms as I got closer to the water and wiped my tears impatiently. Violet and David stopped short when they saw me barreling toward them. By the looks on their faces, I must have been the definition of a hot mess.
“Kelse?” David said. “What happened?”
I walked right up to him, ignoring Violet. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“He didn’t even tell me until two minutes ago. Why would he tell you?” Violet huffed.
David put his hand on her shoulder. “Meet me inside, Vi. I need to talk to Kelsey.”
Violet’s face twisted with indignation. “I’m not going inside! Anything you need to say to her you can say in front of me.” She put her hands on her hips and shot him a look that could fry eggs.
David asked me to give them a minute before pulling Violet to the side. I stared at my toes on the sidewalk, trying to allow them some privacy, but it was obvious that asking to be alone with me had landed him on her shit list. She kept pulling her arm away from him and shrieking incredulous no’s left and right. Finally, she stalked away from him, clearly against her better judgment. As she passed me, she stopped in her tracks. “Thanks for ruining prom, Kelsey,” she spat. Her lip quivered, and I saw it in her eyes before she stormed off: She’d actually fallen this time.
I looked at David, unable to focus on her tantrum. I had more important things to apologize for.
He put his hands in his pockets and bobbed