better. So why not be paid to get cheered up?
You don't make much per dog per hour, but if you can handle six or seven at a time, it starts to add up. Most times it's easy money.
Sometimes it's not.
Straight out the door, the heat and stink seemed to get to them. The two Doberman brothers who usually kept order were nipping at each other, and the schnauzer and bull terrier were acting all paranoid, zigzagging every time a car door slammed, too jittery even to sniff at piles of garbage. As we battled down the street, their leashes kept tangling, like long hair on a breezy day.
Things only got worse when I picked up the second pack. The doorman realized that the owner of the insanely huge mastiff had forgotten to leave money for me and buzzed up to ask her about it. While I waited, the two packs started tangling with each other, nipping and jumping, their barking echoing off the marble walls and floor of the lobby.
I tried to unwind them and restore order, one nervous eyeball on the elevator. It would be totally unfool for my customers to see their dogs brawling when they were supposed to be getting exercise. So when nobody answered the doorman's buzzing, I didn't stick around to complain, just hauled them out of there and back into the heat.
I was already wishing I hadn't been in such a hurry to show Moz our possible drummer. A trip to the anarchy of Times Square was exactly what my unruly dog pack didn't need.
Here's what I've learned about dogs:
They're a lot like pretty girls. Having one or two around makes everything more fun, but when you get a whole bunch together, it turns into one big power struggle. Every time you add or subtract from the pack, everything gets rearranged. The top dog might wind up number two or fall all the way to the bottom. As I watched the Doberman brothers trying to stare down the mastiff, I was starting to wonder if being in a band was pretty much the same thing - more Nature Channel than MTV.
And really, all the jostling was a big waste of time, because Pearl was clearly the right girl to run things.
Don't get me wrong, the Mosquito was my oldest and best friend. I would never have picked up a guitar if it hadn't been for him, and he was the fawesomest musician I'd ever seen. But Moz wasn't cut out to be in charge. Of anything. He'd never held on to even the crappiest job, because any kind of organized activity - waiting in line, filling out forms, showing up on time - made him all buzzy. There was no way he could keep five or six unruly musicians on their leashes and pull them all in the same direction.
As for me, I thought the little dogs had the right attitude. The schnauzer didn't really care whether the mastiff or the Dobermans took charge: he just wanted to sniff some butt and get on with the walk.
He just wanted the struggle to be over.
Today, though, nobody was in control - certainly not me. The seven leashes in my hand didn't mean squat. Each time we got to an intersection, I'd try to pull us toward Times Square, but the pack kept freaking out about every stray scent, surging off in random directions. I'd let them wander a bit until they got it out of their system, then pull them back toward the way I wanted us to go. We weren't going to set any crosstown speed records, but at least there was plenty of time before we were supposed to meet Moz, who, like I just mentioned, was probably going to be late anyway.
The weird thing was how much the vacant lots scared them. Even the mastiff was slinking past open spaces, when normally she would have charged straight in for a run.
How weird was that? A creature the size of a horse who'd been cooped up in a Manhattan apartment all day, and all she wanted to do was cling to me, shivering like a wet poodle.
In this mood, the commotion of Times Square was going to turn my pack into a portable riot. It seemed like Moz and I might have to see my drummer some other day.
Then we passed the mouth of a dark alley, and things really got paranormal.
The bull terrier - who always has to pee on everything -