a reminder of just how young she actually was in experience.
“I don’t know. I mean it’s too soon to love somebody else, isn’t it? I don’t even know how I feel, never mind how to express it.”
The only thing I knew was that I missed Emmett. A lot.
Sadie lit up a joint, took two long pulls before she handed it across the table to me.
“It’ll never feel right to move on, not when you thought your life was all mapped out with another man in the leading role. You just have to push through it.”
I mulled over Sadie’s words. Was that my problem? “That seems so silly, though. I can’t move on because Emmett isn’t Lance?”
Sadie shrugged. “Grief doesn’t make sense. “I grieved for a long time over a man who didn’t deserve it. But his face was the one I imagined getting older beside mine, bouncing my grandchildren on his knee. It’s hard to see yourself having that same happy ending with a different man.”
It was hard to see Emmett’s face in dreams where Lance’s once had been. “Is that why you never remarried, Sadie?”
She let out a bitter laugh. “No. I was worried that I’d have the same future I would’ve had with Colm and that thought scared the fuck out of me. So I closed myself off to the possibility of anything more than physical satisfaction. Now, I’m not even sure a man could handle me.”
She shrugged and accepted the joint once again after Maisie passed and Kat took one puff and handed it back.
“That’s bullshit, Ma. You just need a strong man.” Kat put a hand on her mother’s knee. “You’ve spent so long being an independent badass, using and discarding men, that I think you’ve forgotten how to just be a woman in love.”
Madison snorted. “Love is totally overrated. Men are nothing but dogs, and I, for one, am just grateful that between Glitz and Vegas, there are enough sex shops and clubs to keep me satisfied until I’m too old to care about it.”
Maisie and Kat looked at each other and smiled before they turned their gazes to Madison.
“Wait until you fall,” they said at the same time before dissolving into laughter.
Madison frowned and that had me joining in on the laughter because the girl really had no idea. Falling in love was wonderful, it was an amazing, intoxicating experience, and I was lucky enough to do it twice.
Oh. Shit.
They say there was truth in wine, but the big truths apparently come from Irish whiskey because I was sure I just realized, in that moment, that I was in love with Emmett Manning.
Chapter Thirty-One
Emmett
“Are you sure you don’t want to come over for dinner? Kat and I are cooking steak and potatoes. Well, I’m doing most of the cooking since she’s nursing a hangover, but there’s enough to go around.”
Terry’s invite came from a good place, that thankfully wasn’t pity. I appreciated it, but the last thing I wanted was to see them so happy while I was so miserable.
“As much as I love your overcooked steak, I’m gonna have to pass tonight. You and Kat have a good night to yourselves.” In another week or two, when things weren’t so raw where Vanessa was concerned, I’d have them come to my place for dinner. “Kiss Kat for me.”
“Get your own damn woman,” he growled.
“Thanks for caring, Em!” Kat’s voice was loud and only vaguely distant, which meant she was close enough to hear me. “See you soon and that’s a promise.”
Her threat was clear, and I could only grin and shake my head.
“Lookin’ forward to it, sis.”
I ended the call and set my phone on the kitchen counter beside a stack of takeout menus that held no appeal. I made my way back to the living room and my big screen television. It was amateur fight night and my plan was to keep an eye on any up and coming fighters that could be right for House of Ashby.
Working on a Friday night. Just how pathetic could one man be?
Before I could find an answer that question, the door buzzer sounded. A visitor? Late on a Friday night, when Terry was with Kat, meant only one other person could be dropping in.
My mother.
With slow reluctance, I forced my feet to carry me to the surveillance screen near front door that Jasper had insisted I buy. At the time I didn’t think I would need it, but staring at the woman standing on my