I shook my head and squeezed her hand hard. “I get that, Diandra, I get it. Trust me, I do. Now, will you be here tonight when Lahn gets home?”
She studied me. Then she squeezed my hand and said softly, “Yes, Diandra, as your friend, I will always be by your side when you need me.”
Tears instantly filled my eyes and one spilled over before I looked away.
I let her go and dashed at it with the back of my hand before I whispered to the wall, “Thank you.”
Diandra didn’t respond.
Then I pulled in breath through my nose, looked at her, smiled a fake smile and suggested, “Why don’t we have some lunch?”
*Translation: “Today you rest, tomorrow we see if you’re healthy. The Horde does not ride if my Circe is not well.”
Chapter Twelve
Wifely Duties
Night had fallen; I was pacing the cham while Diandra sat at the table sipping from her third chalice of wine.
She was sucking back liquid courage.
I didn’t need liquid courage; I was coasting high on adrenalin and emotion.
I did not allow myself to consider why the possibility that Lahn was ha**ng s*x with other women and allowing them to bathe him and do his f**king hair upset me so much.
It just did.
A lot.
A lot, a lot.
And like when I saw something I wanted badly, I got irrational and emotional when I got upset. The difference was, when I got upset, I got extremely irrational and emotional and this, unfortunately frequently, mingled with a whole lot of stupid.
So I didn’t question it in this world just like I never did in my own.
I just let that tidal wave sweep me wherever I got swept.
Which was what I was going to do the minute Lahn got home.
I was wearing my apple green nightgown and my long hair was pulled up in a messy knot wrapped with a piece of ribbon that I’d tied into it. I was too wound up to have it in my face and on my burned shoulders, it was driving me mad, so up it went.
“I wish you would sit, my queen, you’re making me nervous,” Diandra mumbled and then sucked back more wine.
I stopped, turned to her and started babbling. “I can’t sit. I’m wound up. And, by the way, I wish you’d stop calling me your queen. I know I am to the people out there but you’re just my friend. No one but us knows what it means anyway, all my friends from home call me Circe mainly because that’s my name and I’m not a queen there but even if I was… not that that could ever happen but still… I wouldn’t let them. And you’re my friend. So, I’d like you just to call me Circe.”
She gave me a crooked smile that looked alarmingly tipsy and I wondered with some concern if Diandra was a lightweight.
“I’d love that… Circe,” then she giggled.
Oh shit.
The cham flaps slapped open, I turned to them and then stopped breathing when Lahn bent low and entered.
Here we go.
His eyes cut through Diandra, across the bed and hit me standing at the far end of it. Then his face went soft. Then he took a step toward me.
I lifted my hand swiftly and said, “Stop.”