Not even a little bit.
The rain outside stopped driving down and started to fall slower, softer, quieter as that knowledge settled in my soul.
“I gave up my world for you,” I whispered, “and if you don’t come to me right now, put your arms around me and tell me you believe me, I will stop at nothing to find my way back.”
His answer was immediate. “I will not come to you, Circe. As of now, you are being sequestered, watched by guards with our most powerful witches in attendance to see you get up to no mischief. You will stay sequestered, alone, in this house, without slaves, friends or your pet, until the pregnancy culminates and we see what creature you bear me. I am informed by those of our people who hold magic that you will not be able to hide it while birthing and it will not have the power to shield its true form while being born.”
Oh my God.
That was when he delivered the killing blow.
“Only then will I come to you to deliver my judgment or allow you back into my bed.”
That was it.
I was done.
Just as he had with the claiming chain Dortak had hooked to me, with those words, Lahn severed our connection just… like… that.
“I’ve left you,” I whispered and his head jerked.
“What?”
“I’m standing right here but I promise you, even if it is simply in my mind, I’ve left you. I’m gone. You’ve lost me forever.”
He planted his hands on his hips. “You birth a warrior or a golden girl, we shall see.”
I shook my head. “No,” I swallowed back the tears. “No. This is it. You’ve gone too far. We’re done. I’m gone. You’ll never get me back, Lahn. Never.”
“If what you say is true, I have won you before, Circe. And if you are what you say you are, I will do it again.”
I stared into his dark, beloved eyes as mine filled with wet and unbeknownst to me the shining, golden swirl of spirit that always was so close to the surface for Lahn to see twinkled brightly then extinguished completely.
Then I whispered, “No. You won’t.”
Then I turned from him, missing the quickly hidden flash of alarm that slashed across his features.
I moved to the windows and stared out, my arms crossed protectively on my belly, the tatters of my heart dripping blood, my lungs feeling empty as silent tears slid down my face.
“Circe,” Lahn called but I didn’t look. I couldn’t look. And I knew even if I saw him again, I would never see him the same.
I knew it was crazy, all I said, but I also knew I was me. And I’d only been me for months.
And he’d fallen in love with me.
But he needed to believe in me in the good times and bad.
Like I did with him. Sometimes it was a struggle. But I f**king did it.
And he didn’t.
And I’d had enough. Hell, I’d had more than enough.
I was done.
“Circe, look at me,” he ordered.
I stared at the rain and I did this for a long time before he spoke again.