But I had no choice. And I knew, looking at him, I should have told him well before now, of my own accord, not as his command. I didn’t know if that would have gone down better but I should have tried.
“I am not of this world,” I whispered my admission.
“I am aware of that, Circe,” he replied swiftly then asked, “Do you take this shape from another?” When I blinked at his question he clarified, “What is your true form?”
I shook my head and held out my hands. “I don’t take this shape. This is me. This has always been me.”
His jaw went hard and his stare started glittering.
He didn’t believe me.
I sallied forth. “I… I woke up in the pen with the other women of the Hunt. I went to bed at home, in Seattle –”
“Seattle is a nation that does not exist, my queen,” Lahn bit off. “Do you not think when you told me this was your homeland that I would not confer with those who had travelled widely? None of them have heard of this Seattle.”
“It exists in my world,” I replied.
“That,” he spat, “I will believe.”
“Lahn –”
“Get on with it, Circe,” he demanded impatiently.
“I… okay,” I shook my head. “My world is different. Much different. It –”
“It has things called hormones,” he interrupted to say, “and germs. And they do what you did to Bohtan’s son to stop people choking. They do not allow their women to drink wine when pregnant. They sew the flesh of wounds together, before and after bathing it in spirit. They have a place called ‘Mexico’. They say ‘freaking out’ to explain just about any emotion as long as it comes with shock or fear. They treat slaves like family. Their queens walk freely amongst their people; they do not hold themselves aloof as all queens should.”
Wow. He’d really paid attention.
Lahn kept speaking. “You have given me many indications you are not of this world and I’ve been so drunk on your xaxsah, so bewitched by the spirit shining in your eyes, I ignored every one.”
“That isn’t how it was,” I said softly.
“No?” he asked on a brow raise.
“No,” I shook my head and lifted my hand. “Lahn… I… this place is very strange to me too but I… well, I endured, I got over it, I adapted and I…” I hesitated, swallowed and whispered, “I fell in love with you.”
The energy in the room went brutal, so brutal it pounded against my flesh.
“Do not ever speak those words to me again unless you wish to feel the back of my hand,” he growled.
I stared at the wrath burning in his eyes.
He meant it.
Oh God.
Was this happening?
I kept staring into his furious, stony, beautiful face.
It was happening.
It was happening.
And with that thought it occurred to me that I was, again, blameless. I was innocent. The only thing I did was fall asleep. And I’d borne countless nightmares since that time, bouncing back from each stronger and stronger. I had been a good queen. I had been a good wife. I had been a good lover. I had given him everything. My body, my world, my love and I was carrying our child.
Fuck… this!