told her I knew what she told Diane. I should have told her no, but I just wanted to feel her one last time. Five days and she hasn’t said a word to me. Hasn’t come by. She never wanted a relationship with me.
I’m so fucking pathetic, wrapped up in a woman who doesn’t want me. Who never wanted me. I remember how she tried to get out of it. I should have let her.
I’m so fucking stupid.
My fork clinks on the ceramic plate as I lower my head, feeling like shit.
“How long is their trip?” Cheryl asks Ma. It’s just Cheryl, Joseph, Ma and Pops while Ali and Michael are on their honeymoon. Without Ali here, it’s quieter than usual. Or maybe I just think it is.
“A full week,” Ma answers, taking a sip of her Diet Pepsi and shifting in her seat.
“Oh wow,” Cheryl says, absently kissing the top of Evie’s head, although the little girl still stares back at me. “That’s a long honeymoon.”
“We can go on another,” Joseph pipes up then shovels another bite in his mouth.
Cheryl scoffs, leaning back in her seat and yawning before she says, “Like when the kids are in college?”
Joseph starts to answer, but Ma cuts in, “Kids?” Her eyes flicker to Cheryl’s stomach.
“Oh don’t get ahead of yourself, Ma.” Cheryl stretches one arm over her head, another yawn taking over as she does.
“Just checking,” Ma says with a smile. Pops chuckles at the end of the table. He’s been quiet all night but keeps looking at me. He thinks I don’t notice, but I do. They’re all looking at me, and I’m just waiting for the questions to start.
As if reading my mind, Ma asks, “When are you going to bring Grace to dinner, Charlie?” She picks up a bun from the basket all the while looking at me, waiting on my answer.
I lean back in my seat, taking in a heavy breath.
If I call her, I think she’d answer. If I ask her to come by, I think she would.
She’s busy with the promotion, and I’ve got work, too. I want to give in and just get lost in her touch, but it’s turning into something else for me. I never should’ve asked her to come around after the wedding.
I’m ashamed to say how much it hurts to end it with her. I don’t want to, but I can’t forget what Diane told me and it just makes sense. I’m not the man she wants her happily ever after with. We both knew that from the beginning.
I don’t want to believe Diane, but she knew it was fake. She said that word, fake. That had to have come from Grace. There’s no other way Diane could have known it was some stupid, drunken deal and we were pretending.
“She’s real busy,” I say before taking a drink of my water. “She got a promotion.”
“Oh that’s wonderful,” Ma answers, but her tone is flat and I keep my head down to avoid looking at her.
“Just where’d you two run off to during the reception?” Joseph asks me, and when I look up I see his cocky smile as he picks off a piece of his chicken and pops it into his mouth.
“Nowhere,” I answer him as Cheryl shoves her elbows into his side. She gives him a look, and little Evie finally looks away from me and up to her mom. She’s only a few months old, but she’s holding her head up just fine and staring at the world around her with wonder.
I’m not fucking settling. And not on a woman who doesn’t want me. For the first time since it happened, I regret thinking about knocking Grace up. My heart clenches in my chest, and I take another gulp of my water.
I don’t know what got into me with her, but I know it needs to end.
I made a mistake, and not for the first time. But I’m damn sure not going to let history repeat itself.
“Son, help me with something.” Ma’s request is odd, especially coming in the middle of dinner. Just like her calling me ‘son’ is throwing me off.
“Of course,” I answer her, setting my napkin to the side and following her to the kitchen. She keeps walking, out to the back door and to the patio.
“What do you need help with out here?”
My Ma’s a bit shorter than me and when she takes a seat on the floral tufted cushion, she’s even shorter. Taking my