me. Tingling sensation enveloped me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I lost myself in it, surrendering to the ecstasy Beau had given me.
I’d been on this earth almost thirty years, and I never knew that this was possible. That this pleasure, feeling this free and uninhibited was something that I was capable of. For the first time in my life, I felt like a fully developed woman. A sexual being. Even in the throes of passion I was experiencing I knew that it was Beau. He was what had been missing for me.
But I had to remind myself that this wasn’t real. It was temporary. Being with Beau was a detour not a destination. My head knew that, but I feared my heart had other ideas.
Chapter 20
Beau
“Sometimes the best ideas are the bad ones.”
~ Barbara-Jean Nelson
My hands were running up and down the bare skin of Sasha’s thighs as I licked my lips, savoring every drop of her release and I tried to commit this moment to memory.
From the first time I’d laid eyes on Sasha, across the room at the wedding, there’d been something there. There’d been something between us. Then once I learned who she was, the world she came from, and all the drama that was going on in her life, I knew that nothing could happen between us. But I just couldn’t stay away from her, even though I knew it was the right thing to do.
It felt like an invisible force was pulling us together and I was helpless against it. I could see her trying to fight it, too. What was happening between us didn’t make sense, but that didn’t make it any less real.
As I looked at her breasts spilling over her bra and her panties pushed off to one side, I had to admit there was definitely an erotic quality to having her half-dressed, but I needed more. I needed to see her naked. I needed to feel her skin against mine.
I tugged her panties down her legs and when I reached up to take her bra off I found that she was a step ahead of me. She’d already unhooked it and was pushing it down her shoulders.
I stood and started to unzip my jeans. When her bra was off, she shifted so she was leaning on her forearms and watched me as I pushed down my boxer briefs with my pants and stepped out of them. I grabbed protection from a box of condoms I’d had in my nightstand forever and checked the expiration date. I squinted, unable to see clearly since the only light in the room was coming from the moonlight streaming in through a slit in my curtains.
“Everything okay?”
I lifted the package closer to my face and saw we were in the clear. “Just checking to see if these are still good.”
“If not, it’s okay.” I could hear the desperation in her tone, and I recognized it because I felt the same thing. “I’m protected.”
My dick jumped at the thought of being inside of her without latex between us. The only other time I’d had unprotected sex was with Rachel. She’d been on the pill, so we didn’t use anything. But I’d never been tempted to go condom free with anyone else.
I was now. When I saw the date indicated they were still good, I was tempted to say that they had expired. My body was screaming at me to take her just like this, skin against skin with no barrier. But I didn’t. We weren’t in a relationship and there was something a lot more intimate about unprotected sex. I needed this physical barrier to remind my emotions of that fact.
“We’re all good.” I tore open the package and took it out.
She watched my hand slide down my shaft. When I saw the pink tip of her tongue run along the seam of her lips, my dick throbbed in my hand. As much as I’d love to feel her mouth on me, I knew that if that happened this night would come to a disappointing end. Literally.
I wanted more than that. I needed more than that, and I had a feeling she did, too.
As I climbed onto the bed, she scooted back so she was in the center of the mattress. Her legs parted as I hovered above her. Lowering down, I began to press soft kisses on the base of her neck. Her head fell to the side,