A Kiss in the Snow - Rosie Green Page 0,7

she demands, her perceptiveness taking me by surprise.

‘No. Honestly. There’s not.’

‘Carrie?’ She takes my hand and squeezes it, and I feel my resolve weaken. The temptation to pour it all out to her is almost too much. It might even make Krystle feel better to know she isn’t the only who’s heart is broken…

I draw in a long breath and breathe it out slowly. Then I meet her eye. ‘The thing is…I like Adam…but tonight I finally realised he doesn’t - ’

Krystle’s mobile cuts into my speech. She glances at the name that flashes up but pushes it away. ‘Sorry. Carry on. You were saying…’

‘Who is it?’

‘Just Rowena. She mentioned grabbing a drink at The Swan after her shift.’

‘Well, talk to her. It would be good for you to go out.’

‘I’m talking to you, though.’ But she glances at the phone again, and after a second’s indecision, answers it.

It’s clear that her friend Rowena is asking if she’s free to meet up, but Krystle is hesitating.

‘Just go,’ I mouth. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Hang on, Row.’ She frowns. ‘Are you sure, Carrie?’

‘Yes. Honestly.’

She shrugs, smiling into the phone. ‘Okay. See you in ten minutes. Mine’s a vodka and tonic if you get there first!’

After she’s gone, I crawl off to bed, feeling battered and exhausted, just craving the oblivion of sleep. But then, of course, I lie there for ages, staring at the ceiling, going over every conversation I’ve ever had with Adam and cursing myself for interpreting signs of attraction that weren’t even there in the first place.

How could I have been so stupid?

At a little after eleven, I hear Krystle’s key in the lock. Rolling onto my side, I pretend to be asleep, but next moment there’s a tap on my door. I’d like to ignore it, but I can’t.

Krystle bounds into the room anyway.

‘I’m really glad I went,’ she announces, dropping onto my bed. ‘I had a nice night.’

‘That’s good,’ I mumble from beneath the covers.

‘Have you ever heard of the “white bear effect”?’

‘No. What’s that?’ Reluctantly, I stir myself and sit up, propping myself against my pillows. I must look awful, but Krystle is chattering on.

‘Row says she was reading that if you’re trying to get over an ex, the worst thing you can do is tell yourself to stop thinking about him. Because that’s like when you tell yourself not to think about a white bear, what’s the first thing you think of?’

‘A white bear.’

‘Exactly. So you just have to remember he’s your ex, but then think about something else instead.’

I nod. ‘Sounds like a plan.’

‘I was chatted up by this guy.’ She laughs. ‘He was a bit of a geek but it gave me a confidence boost. And then…guess who came into the pub later?’

‘Who?’

‘Adam.’

‘Oh.’ My eyes slide away from hers as my heart starts to thud. ‘Did you talk to him?’

‘Yes. He came straight over, actually, and we had a right old laugh. He was doing impressions of his grumpy old boss back when he was a plumbing apprentice. Actually, Rowena thinks he fancies me.’ She laughs. ‘Imagine that! Little Adam!’

‘He’s not so little.’

‘He’s not much taller than me.’

‘Does that really matter?’ I snap.

She shrugs. ‘I like to wear high heels.’

I swallow hard. ‘So…would you go out with Adam?’

‘Um…not sure…maybe I would. He’s good fun. Not as handsome as Ryan, of course, but not bad.’ She smiles up at the ceiling. ‘I could give him a whirl, couldn’t I? It might be good for my ego.’

I feel my hackles rising at her flippant attitude. ‘Adam’s a person, Krystle. Not an object to play with, to make you feel better.’

‘Ooh, ouch!’ she says, clearly stung. ‘I guess you’ve still got that headache, then.’

‘I just think you shouldn’t lead Adam on if you’re not really serious about him. He doesn’t deserve it, Krystle.’

She draws back, frowning, not used to me challenging her about anything. ‘Well, thanks very much, Carrie. You’ve obviously got a really lovely opinion of me if you think I’d play around with someone’s feelings like that.’

‘Just don’t give him false hope, that’s all. Adam’s far too nice,’ I say, my throat aching. ‘Have you ever thought how horrible it is to think someone really likes you, but then to find it’s all in your imagination?’ Hot, exhausted tears prick at my lids. ‘No, of course you haven’t, because whoever Krystle wants, Krystle usually gets!’

She stands up, looking put out. ‘Are you really begrudging me an admirer when I’m still trying to get over Ryan?’

Pressing my