A Kiss in the Snow - Rosie Green Page 0,6

bad dose of flu and everything changed after that. She moped around, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything, and she became really clingy, growing panicky when I wasn’t there. And she talked about Ryan non-stop.

Once, I mentioned I’d booked to go for a spa day with Madison. You’d honestly think I’d informed her that I was leaving for New Zealand on a one-way ticket. Her horrified look said, How could you even think about getting on with your life when you know I can’t? Gulping back the tears, she told me that the date we’d chosen coincided with the two-month anniversary of her break-up and she was terrified of how it might affect her.

I stared at her. It was obvious what she wanted me to do. And because she’s my sister, and I wanted to be there for her, of course I had to tell Madison that we’d have to do the spa day another time. We’ve never got around to re-booking, mainly because I’ve realised I need to be available for Krystle at all times during this awful recovery period.

I have to admit, though, that after three months of creeping around her, walking on eggshells, not wanting to say anything that might set off another explosion of emotion, I’m starting to have slightly heretical thoughts: Shouldn’t she at least be starting to think about moving on? Isn’t she wallowing in self-pity just a tiny bit longer than normal?

‘What should I do, Carrie? Do you think I should phone Ryan?’

‘I don’t know. It’s up to you.’

‘Do you think he misses me?’

I grit my teeth as the stabbing pain in my head worsens. ‘Krystle, I’m sure he does. It would be weird if he didn’t. You were part of each other’s lives for three years, after all. But after a while, the feelings of sadness will get less raw and you’ll be happy with someone else.’

‘So what you’re saying is, Ryan’s probably met someone else already, and even if I wanted to get back with him, it’s probably too late?’

I shrug helplessly, exhaustion taking over. ‘Krystle, I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not.’

I’m longing for my bed now. A couple of painkillers and sleep will block out the horrors of the evening. But Krystle’s still in a mood to talk…

So I remain there, listening and trying to look interested, as she starts going over the history of her relationship with Ryan once again, reminiscing about how they met, and making herself even more miserable remembering the good times.

Finally, she goes off to the loo, and I get up to take some painkillers.

‘What are you doing?’ she asks, coming back into the kitchen.

‘Got a bit of a headache.’

‘Oh. Why didn’t you say? Come to think of it, you do look a bit pale. Is everything all right? How come you’re back so early from your meal with Adam?’

I shake my head, not wanting to talk about it.

‘Carrie? Is something wrong?’ She peers at me.

I sink back down at the table, feeling as weak as a new-born kitten, and she comes over and hunkers down beside me. ‘Carrie? Talk to me.’

I shrug. ‘It wasn’t a great…I just don’t feel well, that’s all.’

I’ve never told Krystle how much I like Adam, and I’m not really sure why.

Suddenly, it hits me.

At some subconscious level, I guess I always knew it would turn out this way: with the guy I really like discovering he has feelings for my sister…

‘Are you sure that’s all it is?’ She’s staring at me in confusion. I guess she’s not used to me showing my vulnerable side. I am, after all, the practical sister, who copes in an emergency, makes sure the household bills are paid on time and looks doggedly on the bright side, even when my life is falling apart! It’s so often me picking Krystle up off the floor. Not the other way around.

And this time will be no different.

I fix on a smile. ‘I’m fine. Honestly. I think I’ve just been working too hard.’

She nods, although I can tell she’s not convinced. ‘It’s lucky you’re taking the whole of December off work while I take over at the cafe, then, isn’t it?’

I nod, while my heart sinks into my fluffy slippers at the very thought of an entire four weeks, with all the free time in the world to stew over my stupid, unrequited feelings for Adam. I’d probably rather be working…

A sigh escapes and Krystle frowns. ‘There’s more to this than a headache, isn’t there?’