A Kiss in the Snow - Rosie Green Page 0,8

hands to my eyes wearily, I sigh. ‘Krystle, I don’t begrudge you at all. I just think…’ Looking up, I trail off at the look of anger on her face.

‘I’m going to bed,’ she snaps.

At the door, she turns. ‘You know, Carrie, at least I’m prepared to get out there and meet people. You just stay in and watch telly. Maybe I should follow your example and be as boring as shit.’

Her unfair comments sting, but I know she’s only lashing out because she’s upset.

‘Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean - ’ I begin, but she cuts me off.

‘Just don’t you dare judge me, Carrie! Not until you’ve walked in my shoes!’

‘I’m honestly not judging you…’

‘Yes, you are. And you have absolutely no idea what it’s like to have a heart that feels like it’s been shattered into a million little pieces!’

CHAPTER THREE

She slams out and I lie there, shocked, staring up at the ceiling.

If she only knew…

‘Did you lock the front door?’ I call, after a while, but there’s no reply.

She won’t have remembered to lock up. I really should get up and do it, as I always do. But for once, I can’t be bothered. If someone breaks in and murders us in our beds, I’m not taking the blame!

I turn on my side, pull the covers over my head, and hope for sleep.

*****

I wake next morning feeling so sick, all I can do is lie there and whimper.

Then flashbacks from the previous night start crashing into my head moments later, and misery of an emotional kind takes over.

Oh, God, I am the world’s biggest idiot, imagining Adam had real feelings for me. And then falling out with my twin into the bargain. It’s not Krystle’s fault Adam is crazy about her, and not me…

I attempt to get up. But the sudden movement has dire consequences on my delicate constitution, and I collapse back onto the bed, the nausea ramping up a hundredfold, my limbs as weak as water. I feel as if I’ve run a marathon overnight without my knowledge.

I suppose nipping out because I couldn’t sleep and buying a bar of chocolate larger than China at the petrol station probably wasn’t the best idea. Plus, consuming three-quarters of it in front of a tear-jerker movie turned down low on TV, washed down with roughly half a pint of sherry (the nearest alcohol to hand) obviously did little to help matters. Especially when I don’t usually drink, except on nights out.

I sit rigidly on the edge of the bed, waiting for the nausea to subside from flashing red to amber.

Talk about deluded.

I can’t believe I allowed myself to think Adam was talking about me when he was going all starry-eyed over that ‘very special girl’ he was attracted to. I should have known all along that it was Krystle. I guess I allowed my growing connection with Adam to lull me into a false sense of security.

I told myself that by the law of averages, I had to be lucky in love at least once in my life – and finally, it was my time. I really thought my dream of finding a kindred spirit to have fun and share things with was coming true at last.

I was so bloody happy!

Feeling parched, I reach for the glass of water on the beside table and my eyes fall on a flyer advertising this year’s local pantomime. I laugh mirthlessly. If wishing and hoping got results, I’d be starring in my very own version of Cinderella right now, embracing my prince.

But it turns out I’m just the ugly sister…

*****

On the way in to work, I give myself a stern talking-to.

Last night was a watershed moment. I will focus on my future from now on. A future without Adam to distract me from achieving what I need to achieve (I haven’t worked out what that is yet, but I will. I most definitely will).

Krystle was still in bed when I crept out this morning. I really couldn’t face her. I’m going to call her later and apologise for having a go at her. Work will keep me busy today and I’ve already arranged to meet Madison for pizza later.

That’s what’s keeping me going today, to be honest.

I need some of Maddy’s straight talking. She’ll make me laugh and she’ll probably tell me I should consign Adam to the past and move on, because there’s someone better out there for me.

I’m feeling quite philosophical about things after a long night thinking