would you like to officially discuss?”
Darius folded his hands as he sat, his cheeks pinked a bit, making me even more uncomfortable as I waited.
“It’s none of my business, it really isn’t.” Darius cleared his throat a few times, then pulled off his ball cap, ran a hand through his thinning, buzzed gray hair then put it back on. “Someone called and said they saw you two kissing after tryouts. Normally that kind of thing is not any of our business, but they prefaced it with a story about your relationship with your coach in college.” Darius cleared his throat. “This person said you were in a sexual relationship in hopes that he would help further your career.”
My entire body stiffened.
“Again, this isn’t any of my business. I was getting ready to offer you a starting position, but our club is newer than others. Our reputation banks on girls who are good role models, so I need to know that we have nothing to worry about.”
I couldn’t find my voice as Willow waltzed over and handed him a cup of coffee. “What are we talking about?”
“Um . . .” I shook my head. “Let me start with college . . . I was . . .” This was it, wasn’t it? The crossroads people talk about. Where you’re forced to do the right thing even though it feels wrong, like you’re standing in front of a firing squad ready for the countdown to begin.
My heart thumped painfully against my ribs.
My body was sore.
My head hurt.
And then I opened my mouth and the words just came out. “I want to be a good role model. I just don’t think I’m that person, at least not as I am sitting across from you right now. Because I kept a secret.” Tears filled my eyes as Matt’s stunned expression met mine, one of shock and then pure love as he nodded slowly. “I was raped by Erik Sluvan when I was twenty-two years old. He was my coach. He was an authority figure. I had no romantic relationship with him. No relationship whatsoever outside of being one of his star athletes. I punched him in the face because he punched me in mine when he tried to rape me. I punched him because he didn’t understand the word no. And the only other person I’ve ever told is Matt, who’s been trying to convince me to come forward. But I’m scared. I’m scared you’re going to look at me as someone who’s playing a victim.” I found strength in my own voice even as my hands shook, as my body jerked forward. “I am a victim. I’m a victim of a man who would do anything to get what he wants and who preys on innocent women. He sent me to anger management after the first time, you know.” I shook my head and stared down at my hands. “When I confided in the therapist about what happened, she told Erik everything. I later learned that they were sleeping together, so my complaint is not even in the school records, and according to everyone involved, I’m just an angry girl who got pissed at her coach and became a diva. I’m still angry, but I’m angry because if I cry anymore over this, I’m afraid it might break me. This isn’t about soccer, Coach, this is about . . . someone helping me heal and fight for my dreams, the very dreams Erik tried to kill the minute he told me to take my clothes off.”
Darius was very quiet.
He stared me down for longer than seemed necessary. And then he stood.
Was he just going to leave?
I stood with him, not sure what to do.
He pulled me into his arms and hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe. When he pulled away, he had tears in his eyes. “I have two daughters.” He wiped at his eyes. “I’m going to tell you the same thing I would tell them.”
I waited in tense silence.
“Next time go for the family jewels and kick them twice.”
I exhaled in relief and laughed through my tears. “Yeah, I’ll remember that.”
“Practice starts next Monday, on one condition.”
“Anything.” Was this really happening? Was I not getting punished? Why was my head still so twisted that I thought I was the one that would get into trouble for his mistakes? I hated him. I hated him so much.
“You file a police report.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “You file a