compute what was happening or even form a coherent sentence, he’d positioned himself on one knee in front of me.
“Violet Murphy,” he said, his eyes glistening, “you’re beautiful, you’re kind, you’re funny, and you’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.” He paused to press a kiss to my hand. “I want you. And only you. For the rest of my life.”
My ears had started ringing. “Landon—”
“I know it’s crazy, and I know it’s too soon,” he announced. “But I also know that I love you. Will you marry me, Violet?”
I sat there, frozen with one hand in his, the other pressed to my forehead, which had broken out into a cold sweat. My mind whirled. Whirled right out of that apartment in the brownstone building on Capitol Hill, across the city, to a high rise apartment on Queen Anne Hill. I was in the middle of the most important moment of my life to date, and I was picturing Gabe’s profile against the Seattle skyline as he looked out his kitchen window. When I was in Gabe’s arms, I was completely at home. Like it was the one place I was meant to be. I’d loved him for so long. Longer than I’d ever loved another human being, and despite how deeply I wanted him to love me back…but the truth was, he didn’t. He loved Alicia.
I had Landon in front of me. Who loved me inside and out, despite my ugly past and truckloads of baggage. He looked at me like I was carved out of glass and trimmed in precious gems. In Landon’s arms I was safe and adored. And damn it all if it didn’t feel good to be adored for once…instead of being the one doing all the adoring.
I opened my mouth to respond right as Kim’s and Betsy’s bedroom door swung open, hitting the wall with a crash. “Did you know that Betsy can put her whole fist in her mouth? It’s freakishly weird, and sure to lighten the mood out here. Wanna see?” Kim stopped in her tracks as soon as she spotted Landon on his knee in front of me. “Oh, holy shit on a shingle! Bets, get out here, now!”
“What? I told you now wasn’t the time for party tricks.” Betsy emerged, and her eyes widened behind her cat’s-eye glasses. “No. Freaking. Way.”
Landon gave them a wink over his shoulder. “Could you give us a minute? I’m waiting for an answer here.”
“Well, answer him!” Kim scolded me, jumping up and down.
“Shut up!” Betsy clasped her hands. “Go ahead, Violet.”
“Sorry.” Kim’s hand went over her mouth with a slap.
I couldn’t help but laugh when Landon’s round eyes met mine again. This was my life. A leopard-print couch, a David Beckham look-alike, two lesbians, and a Felix the Cat clock. Sure, it wasn’t the JumboTron at Safeco Field, but it was by far the most romantic thing I’d ever experienced. Flying to Vegas on a whim to get married?
I cleared my throat. “Can we get married by Elvis?”
“Of course.” Landon laughed. “Does that mean yes?”
Nodding, I shoved every single thought of Gabe Parker to the back of my mind and locked it up with dozens of deadbolts. I kissed Landon long and hard, letting my mind swirl and rush as he tilted his head and tangled his fingers in my hair.
“Yes,” I whispered when we pulled apart amidst Kim’s and Betsy’s cheers. “That means yes.”
Chapter Eighteen
August 19, 2003
He kissed me. Oh, dear God, Gabe kissed me after we worked out tonight. When he pulled his face away from mine, I looked up over his shoulder at the sky and saw a shooting star. I told him to make a wish, and he said that his wish was that we would always be together. Then he kissed me one more time, long and slow, and said, ‘I’ve always loved you, Vi…’
I looked down at the stack of leather-bound journals sitting on my bed and sighed. I’d kept a journal since my first day of high school, and nine years later, I still wrote in one every night. Every memory. Every worry. Every thought…it all went into these books. They were a direct glimpse into my soul, and I’d never shown them to another human being before.
Until now.
Dragging a small brown box across my bedspread, I held my breath and said a silent prayer. I needed Gabe to understand why I’d done this. Why I’d chosen to share my secret