Rose strutted like she were walking a runway in Milan; and Shawn’s skin positively glowed in her strapless wrap gown.
Alicia walked down the line of girls, surveying their presentation, while Juanita furiously took notes on her pad of paper. After examining each of the bridesmaids thoroughly, Juanita waved a hand and barked, “Be gone! All of you!”
The row of now-deflated women skulked back to the dressing rooms, and Alicia turned to me with an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I picked a color I thought would work for everyone.”
“I thought that they looked great.” I craned my neck to see the girls as they left the room, trying to see what flaws Alicia was referring to. A tiny seed of doubt sprouted in my mind as I saw Juanita’s and Alicia’s heads together, hissing back and forth about how the bridesmaids had all looked atrocious. Alicia’s face was pinched, and she was waving her arms wildly as they spoke, and I was dying to hear what they were saying.
She ignored me and focused on the seamstress, who was clicking her tongue at her notes. “What did you think, Juanita?”
“Jes, zee brunette needs to drop a few pounds, if it iz okay to zay zo.” Juanita spoke in an accent I couldn’t place. Certainly not Spanish, as her name would’ve suggested.
“Of course you can say so,” Alicia confirmed. “I’ve been telling her that for weeks.”
“And zee blonde should consider zeeing a dermatologist, if you azk me. Zee ozzer two would be fine, but zey look like absolute hell in zat color. You’ll want to ztick them in the back of the pictures and dim zee lights,” Juanita announced with a scowl.
I pretended to be completely captivated by the pattern etched on my glass, and my gut churned. If this was how Alicia treated her thin, perfect friends, then what was she going to say to me? Or behind my back when I’d left? Good grief, could the bridesmaids hear what they were saying? I looked longingly at the glass doors leading to the street and wished that the building would catch on fire so we would have to evacuate.
Alicia just rolled her eyes and flopped down on the couch next to me. “These girls think this is a joke. Good Lord, I caught Rose eating scrambled eggs the other day, and we’re not talking scrambled egg whites. We’re talking about the whole egg.”
I gulped. Alicia was a wedding Nazi. Dread set in as my turn in the hot seat approached. I listened to her rattle off the diet plan she’d set up for her bridesmaids shortly after asking them to be in the wedding and began to daydream about falling dreadfully ill on May fifteenth.
A few minutes later, the girls came shuffling back into the room wearing a new variety of dresses. I noticed that Kate was now holding her middle in as tightly as she could, causing her neck to vibrate, and Marissa’s giant white teeth were now hidden behind her trembling lips.
Alicia walked along the line of women, plucking at invisible lint and tugging on hemlines. “What do you think? We could take the skirt off this one and attach it to the top of this one? And is this a good length for everyone?”
Juanita began whipping her tape measure around violently. “Jes. I think we will want to hide the calvz on zis one. Zey look like jarz of mayonnaise.”
Alicia nodded in agreement.
I flinched and crossed my ankles underneath the couch. Note to self: buy some Spanx before the wedding.
One by one, all of their faces dropped as their flaws were scrutinized, then catalogued on Juanita’s pad. They were each measured carefully, not one inch of their bodies left untouched by the yellow tape. Then they were ordered back to the dressing rooms to get into their own clothes. Sure that I saw Shawn swipe at her eyes quickly as she left the mirrored room, I felt strangely sympathetic toward the bridesmaids as they all stumbled away, their egos officially knocked down a few pegs.
“I am going to find some ozzer samples,” Juanita said, shaking her head as she stomped out to the showroom. She stopped after a few feet and waved a hand at Alicia. “Come!”
Alicia jumped up and ran behind her like a faithful puppy.
“Holy shit…” I sighed under my breath before draining my glass. This was going to be painful. Right as I reached for a refill, a puffy-eyed Shawn