what he wants. He wants to be found so do whatever the fuck it is you all do when we need to find someone and do it,” I hiss.
“You are not trading your life for hers,” Zane says, shaking his head.
“I’m not asking for anyone’s fucking opinion. My life for hers,” I yell. I turn to Alex and narrow my eyes. “Get on the fucking computer and find them.” I look at Riley and tighten my fists at my side. “You said Gillian knows computers, get her to start fucking looking.”
“Kace, this will be handled as a club. We’ll all get Ivy back and you’re gonna stay fucking breathing,” Enzo says, narrowing his eyes at me.
I take out a cigarette and light it, blowing smoke toward Enzo. “You got it, VP,” I say.
“I know how fucked up your head is right now. I said the same shit when it was Harper, but when she’s back and safe, you’ll be fucking glad you aren’t dead,” Zane says.
I laugh a humorless laugh and grab onto the back of my chair. “She’s not going to stay. She hated the club and all the shit we get mixed up in. This is a one-way ticket back to California. I don’t need the fucking pep talk or the pity. I’m losing her either way,” I say, picking up the chair and throwing it against the wall.
“I got something,” Alex yells.
I rest my hands on the table and lean toward him. “What?”
“There’s a barn that they’ve used before. It’s only about ten miles from here,” he says, looking up at me.
“Let’s go,” I say, grabbing my cigarettes off the table.
“Kace, fucking stop. We can’t rush out without all the information. Take a goddamn breath,” Enzo growls.
I laugh as I look at Alex. “You coming?”
“Kace,” Zane calmly says.
“Alex?” I ask, ignoring Zane.
He sighs and as he pushes his chair out. “Fuck it.”
“Both of you, fucking wait,” Enzo yells.
I push out the door to everyone yelling for me. Fuck them. Everyone second she’s there is more torture she’s enduring. I’m not going to hold my dick while they decide the best plan. I’ll check every motherfucking lead until I find her.
Alex follows me outside and slaps my back. “I’ll lead.” I nod as I hop on my bike.
The ride feels like hours. It’s almost like I’m going too fast but not fast enough. The thoughts of what she’s going through are making me vibrate with anger and fear. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life as I am of my love for her. We haven’t had nearly enough time together, but after I’m gone, she’ll have a piece of me forever. Maybe that’s why she got pregnant, because it was meant to be that she became an amazing mother and I’m meant to be a memory.
Alex turns off down a dirt road and my thoughts snap back to the present. We park back a bit from the barn, and I can tell already that this isn’t the place. The door is boarded up, the weeds are tall and untouched, and there are no footprints in the dirt.
“Let’s look anyway,” Alex says, hopping off his bike. “Maybe there’s another way in.”
He doesn’t believe it, but he’s trying to give me hope. I appreciate it, so I follow behind him toward the barn. We bust open the door and search every inch. They haven’t been here in a long time.
I scrub my face, running my hands up into my hair. I look up at the sky and scream. My voice echoes around us, but I keep going. I let all my frustration, fear, and guilt take over.
Without taking my eyes off the sky I ask Alex, “Why’d you come?”
“I’ve known you for a long time, Kace. I’ve seen you happy. I’ve seen you sad and I’ve seen you pissed, wild, demanding, strong. I’ve seen you take control, loss control, and keep everyone around you grounded. But I’ve never seen you scared, until now.”
I glance at him and nod. “I’ve never been scared like this before. I pulled her into a fucking war. She’s not Harper. She doesn’t know or understand this life. She’s hurt and it physically hurts me that she is. I can’t begin to imagine how scared she is. I need to find her, Alex. I need to save her and my baby. Please fucking help me.”
The pity I see in his eyes is warranted. I just showed him a side of me I keep