our lips in a lock, his breath slowing down while his hands refuse to let go of my face.
I shut my eyes and tune into the invisible energy I feel radiating from his skin. His mouth barely trembles for a second and I hold my breath.
When he finally pulls back, it’s slow and gradual, our lips refusing to undo the fusion in a sense.
He lazily parts his eyelids, and within them… I can see heaven.
Chapter Eleven
Jake
To give myself a chance to resettle and calibrate, I had told Katie to come back the day after my return to the house.
And now I truly realize what a brilliant idea that was.
After spending a few days alone with Belle, I find the separation rather difficult and I’m a little off mood. All alone in the big box I call home, nothing seems as perfect as the tiny cabin did with Belle in it.
Let’s face it.
I am desperately in love with her.
As I mooch around, unpacking and doing my laundry, I am overly aware of her absence from the space around me. To make matters more confusing, my mind begins to create its own illusions. I swear I can smell her perfume in the hallway as I walk by.
What kind of magic is she practicing?
But wait a minute.
Who am I kidding?
I am the one playing tricks here.
As I take off my clothes and hop into the shower, I think of how I dodged her question about the women in my past. I should have confessed, right then and there, that I am a divorced man.
The other side of my brain, however, insists that nothing would have been gained by it.
But could something have been lost?
Massaging my scalp with my fingers, the soft lather tickles and I close my eyes, adamant to stop grinding my teeth for no reason. Lola is history, and so is Gus… my innocent little boy.
There’s no point in dwelling.
Despite my best efforts, my jaws remain locked, refusing to cooperate with the warm water that aims to relax my muscles.
What more can be lost after Lola took half my money and the boy with her? How much worse is it going to get, now that my heart is the broken bits of a shell she stomped upon on her way out?
In an instant, in a blink of an eye, I lost half of everything I owned and the child I called my son.
Yes, we were young when we got together. And yes, we were bound to grow apart. But I wasn’t the one who grew vicious. She was. Nor was I the one who cheated, throwing every promise of love and loyalty to the wind.
She did.
When I inevitably found out that she was sleeping with my previous ranch manager for over a year, I lost all faith in humankind. Naturally, I asked her to pack her things and go. Leave. Get out of our lives forever.
But she had to add insult to injury.
Her one final slap to my manhood before she disappeared without a trace.
After accepting the money I had offered for her to leave Gus with me, she snuck inside in the middle of the night and took him away from me. Out of my house and into the darkness, off to build a new life with her lover.
Squeezing my eyes shut in pain, I try to indulge in the sprinkles on my skin as I remember the pain of that morning when I didn’t find my boy in his bed.
Frankie was there, helping me get rid of anything that reminded me of her. I was beginning to lose my mind when he found a folded piece of paper on Gus’ nightstand.
“Jake?” I heard his voice in the midst of my outburst.
“What?” I screamed, my hands running through my hair in a furious explosion of helplessness.
“I think she left a note.” He handed it to me apprehensively, his eyes fixating on my face as I unfolded it.
I’m sorry that I didn’t have the courage to tell you this face to face. But I had to take him with me. He’s only mine. You see, the thing is…
Gus is not your son.
Goodbye, Jake.
And for the first time in years, I wept.
I lost my composure, breaking down on the ground while my little brother tried to comfort me. I had loved that child with everything in me. He was my son, until that moment when I had to process that he wasn’t.
It was all too much to bear.
As I dry myself, I