do penance by crunching on cookies. Unfortunately—or thankfully—there were none to be found. Memories, however, were everywhere. The pictures on the fridge reminded me of the day Kennedy told me about her dad. The table itself told the story of how I surprised her with a steak dinner, then took her out for drinks—the fateful night I’d let down my guard, then introduced her to Collin. I remembered laughing with her as she downed her first Painkiller, and the certainty that she wouldn’t use me to get closer to my brother, even as she stammered her way through an obvious lie.
What a fucking idiot I’d been.
Part of me whispered I was being an idiot in the here and now, though I couldn’t figure out why I’d feel that way. If Kennedy was willing to toss me away in favor of my brother…or anyone else for that matter…then she just wasn’t who I thought she was. It was time to let her go.
And good riddance.
The thought hit my heart with a hollow thud and I gripped the counter, head hanging. How was I going to stay in that house, when everything I saw reminded me of her? When thinking of her withered the blip of happiness that had poked its head out of the black soil of my soul?
I was better on my own. I always had been. And up until she barreled into my life with a right hook to the heart, I thought I always would be. The only hope for me was to go back to closing everyone out so I never felt this way again.
Considering how far I’d fallen, I should have re-fucking-joiced in the idea.
So why was I hurting so much?
Why was the only thought in my head trying to figure out how to get Kennedy back?
“Because you’re a weak man,” I muttered to myself. “You’ve never been enough for anyone and you just can’t learn that lesson.”
Pushing off the counter, I strode out of the house and right into Collin Fucking West.
I couldn’t meet his eyes. His proximity made my skin crawl. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Collin frowned, his gaze raking over me. “Glad to see you’ve reverted back to your natural state of assholery. First you randomly cancel our dinner date, now this?”
I shrugged off the statement. Folded my arms over my chest. Stared at my shoes.
“Okay, then.” He bobbed his head and pulled his lips into a frown. “Guess it’s a good thing I’m actually not here for you. I’ve been trying to get a hold of Kennedy for a few days and she’s gone radio silent. Is everything okay?”
My gaze lifted to his and I rubbed a hand over my mouth. It was that or punch him in the face, and I wasn’t ready to go that far. Yet. “I wouldn’t know.”
“I’m sensing a buttload of hostility here, brother.”
I sneered at his use of the word. “Are you? I can’t imagine why.”
Frowning, Collin stepped back, as if he just needed some distance for everything to come into focus. “Why don’t you know if everything is okay with Kennedy? And maybe more importantly, why are you acting like a special kind of asshole again?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I figured out what was going on between you two? And I ended it?”
Genuine surprise lifted his eyebrows. “You broke up with a woman like that over a birthday party?”
Hold up.
A birthday party?
The black casing surrounding my heart broke away, revealing a tiny glimmer of hope underneath. If Kennedy wasn’t looking to hook up with Collin, then everything was okay…
…and then I remembered the awful things I said to her.
That faint light burned out. My hands fells to my sides. My jaw went slack. My heart shattered.
I blinked at Collin in the blinding light of a Florida afternoon as sweat trailed down my spine. “What are you talking about?”
“Holy shit. You thought…” He raked a hand through his red hair as understanding wrinkled his nose in disgust. “You thought I was making a move on your girlfriend.”
“Actually, I thought she was making a move on you.” Adrenaline coursed through me, lighting my nerves on fire. I paced, knowing damn well I couldn’t outrun the mess I’d made.
“You stupid bastard.” Collin shook his head. “Not everyone is out to get you.”
“Yeah, well, personal experience would beg to differ.”
He dismissed me with a roll of his eyes. “You’ve been selling yourself that story for years and I’m here to call bullshit on it once