God, Grandma, are you joking?” I laughed. “Really? No, she’s not a lesbian. In fact, I think she’s got a thing for her friend Harry. Do not say anything to her though, okay?”
“Oh, okay. Well, it’s good to hear. So how have you been? I have not seen you for a long time.”
“I’ve been good, just been working and going on lots of dates. In fact, I have a date tomorrow.”
“Ooh. Who you have a date with? Tell me more about this young gentleman. Is he Greek?”
“Grandma is that always going to be the first thing that you ask me? Like, are you really that concerned about him being Greek? Or do you just want me to be with someone?” She looked at me and held my face in her hands.
“Gemma, I just want you to be happy, eh? I know Greek boys, they know how to treat their woman. They make you happy because they know how to treat their mother and they know how to treat their grandmother. And a boy if he treats his mother and his grandmother well, he will treat you well.”
“Yes, Grandma, but Greek boys aren’t the only boys that treat their family well and all Greek men aren’t the best, remember uncle Andreas?”
“What about him?”
“Well, didn’t he have another family? So he was a Greek man and he wasn’t actually treating anyone well.”
“We don’t talk about him Gemma, you know that.”
“I know that, but I’m just saying—”
“Come, come, let’s go into the kitchen, eh? You have some of my spanakopita?”
“Yes, Grandma. Did you make any baklava?”
“Of course, Gemma. As soon as I heard you coming, I make one full tray of baklava just for you.” She looked at my stomach. “But maybe you not eat too many pieces. You want to stay nice and trim. I’m not sure how often you go to the gym.”
“Oh my God, Grandma, are you calling me fat?”
“No, Gemma, would I ever say such a thing?” She shook her head and I laughed. No, she would never say such a thing, directly, but she would say it in many other ways. I shook my head. I wasn’t going to let her get to me.
Sarah was in the living room with my parents and I was sure she was being inundated with questions about her dating life as well. In my family, it didn’t matter if you were a blood relation or not. Once you were part of our fold, then they wanted to know everything about you. And that’s why I needed to ensure that the guy that I did finally bring home was up to it.
“Grandma, I’m just going to go back into the living room real quick and make sure Sarah is okay and see if she wants a drink, okay?”
“Okay, Gemma.” She nodded as I walked to the living room.
“Hey Sarah, do you want anything to drink?”
“Ooh. Yeah. I’d like some of that mint lemonade that your dad was telling me about, if you have some.”
“Oh yeah, let me get you some. You want to come with me?”
“Sure.” She jumped up eagerly. We headed toward the kitchen and then I quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her toward my old bedroom. As we reached my old bedroom, I closed the door and let out a sigh.
“Oh my God. I wish I had some weed or something. My family is driving me crazy and we have only been here ten minutes.”
“It’s okay, Gemma. I understand how it is. You know what my parents are like. I think families are just there to drive you crazy.”
“Yeah, I guess so, but my Grandma just asked me if we were lesbians.”
“She did not ask you that!”
“Well, not in so many words, but I think that’s what her implication was. I think she was basically telling me that I need new friends because you’re in love with me.” I made a face and Sarah laughed.
“Oh man. Thanks for the joke.”
“It’s okay. So, we’ll stay here for an hour and then you can say that Harry needs you or something and we have to leave, because I’m not sure I can stand to be here much longer than that.”
“Are you sure? You haven’t seen them in a while.”
“Trust me, girl. A little bit of them lasts a long time. I love them, but there’s going to be so much time spent with them this Christmas that I don’t need to be here for any longer than is needed.”