thing as me. What’s the point of us even talking right now?”
“Well, maybe we can just see. Maybe we can have another date and figure something out?”
“I don’t know, Connor. Obviously there are other guys that are out there who are interested in dating me and I feel like I should just focus on them.”
“Will you give me one more date?” He sounded hopeful. “Please.”
“What’s the point of me giving you one more date? I just don’t understand. Why do you want to see me again?”
“I don’t want this to be the end. Haven’t you ever just wanted to be someone else, Gemma? Haven’t you ever just wanted to see life through someone else’s eyes? You know? Your family, the media, society tells you you need to live life one way, but maybe, just maybe, that’s not the way you want to live your life. Maybe that’s not what’s going to make you happy. Maybe you need to figure that out for yourself.”
I listened to his words and I could feel my brain turning over and over again. In some ways he was right. In some ways, I didn’t know exactly what I wanted. There were so many things to process and to take into account. What my parents wanted, what my grandparents wanted, what my friends expected, what I expected of myself. But I didn’t really know what was going to make me truly happy. “Fine,” I said, finally. “I’ll give you one more date. You plan it and I’ll come. We can do whatever you want to do, but that’s it. I don’t know that—”
“Shh,” he said to me. “Don’t say anything else, Gemma. “I’ll plan the date, please be open-minded, and then if you don’t want to ever see me again after that, you never have to, okay?”
“Fine,” I said. “I’m going to go now because I’m in my bath and I was relaxing and—”
“I’ll let you go, Gemma. Have a nice night, okay?”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.” We hung up the phone and I placed it back down on the bath mat before sinking down into the tub and letting my head submerge into the water. I lay there underwater for what must’ve been thirty seconds before popping back up again. The water had cooled off and was slightly too cold. I turned on the faucet again so that hot water could pour back into the tub. What was I doing? Why had I agreed to another date with Connor? He didn’t want what I wanted. He was probably wanting to try and sleep with me and convince me with good sex or something. And that was exactly what I was trying to avoid. I didn’t want a fuck guy. I didn’t want a guy that was just interested in the physical. I wanted something else.
But as I lay there in the bath, all I could think of was his handsome face. And I knew. I knew I needed to see him at least one more time. Even if it was for just one more kiss. Maybe it would help me get him out of my system. Maybe it would help me move on and focus on the other guys, the ones that actually wanted what I wanted, the ones that were willing to give me a real future. One more date, that was it. And then I’d be done.
I grabbed my phone again quickly and sent Lucas a text message. “Thinking of you :),” I said, and then put the phone back down again. I needed to spend more time thinking about Lucas now. He was top of the list, just like that. Hopefully, he wouldn’t turn out to be a dud as well.
Chapter 19
“Gemma, it’s so good to see you, my darling granddaughter.” My Grandma wrapped her arms around me and kissed both my cheeks. “You look very nice today, eh? I’m only a little disappointed.”
“What are you disappointed about, Grandma?” I said, surprised.
“Well, your mother, she told me you bringing a friend, and I get excited. I tell your Papu that, ‘Gemma bringing her new friend.’ I think is your boyfriend, eh?
“No, Grandma, I just brought Sarah with me. You’ve met her before. She’s one of my best friends.”
“Yes, she’s nice girl, but she’s single also?”
“Yes, Grandma, she is single.”
“Well, you know, some people they say, ‘She’s single, you single, maybe you need to meet with other friends.’”
“Grandma, what are you talking about?”
“Well, you know, I don’t want to say this, but is she lesbian?”