you cannot keep driving yourself crazy. I mean, we will figure out which one of these guys, if either, you want to be with. And you know what, Gemma? Even if you want to sleep with both of them, there’s nothing wrong with that. Use protection. Be safe. As long as you’re not in a committed relationship, you’re not doing anything wrong.”
“But am I not a slut if I’m sleeping with multiple guys at the same time?”
“Why? Why would you be a slut? Do you call men sluts that sleep with multiple women at the same time?”
“Kind of, yeah I do. I call them male sluts,” I laughed. “I know that’s absolutely horrible and it’s not for me to judge what people do. But I just think that’s really wrong to sleep with multiple people at the same time.”
“Even if you’re not in a relationship?” she looked surprised.
“I mean, I understand that you’re not committed to someone if you’re just casually sleeping with them. And I understand that there shouldn’t be an expectation that you’re only sleeping with them. But I think there are multiple reasons why it’s not a good idea to have multiple partners at the same time. One, what about STDs? You don’t know who’s got what.”
“But what about protection, girl? I hope you’re always using protection.”
“Of course I always use protection. I mean, there was this one time in college with this one dude, but let’s just say I got about five different STD tests in about three months and I will never do that again.”
“Oh, okay. So are you on the pill, Gemma?”
“No, but I think I’m going to go back on it. I was on it in college when I had my longtime boyfriend, but we still used condoms.”
“That’s good! So you’re pretty safe but, yeah there are other STDs that you can get from, you know, the mouth and...”
“Yeah there’s always always a risk.”
“Yup, very true.”
“Oh my God, could you imagine if I got pregnant and I didn’t know who the father was?” I lowered my voice. “I would be on Maury and I would look like a moron and a ho and a slut. And my family would absolutely disown me. Not only would they disown me for,” I groaned as I spoke. I counted off on my fingers, “They disown me for one, being pregnant out of wedlock. Two, them not having met the guy. And three, imagine if there were multiple different guys who could be the father. Could you imagine that?”
“Yeah, no, I couldn’t,” Sarah laughed really loudly. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not funny, but I’m just picturing you on Maury and Maury taking out that card and saying, ‘Lucas, you are not the father.’”
“Oh my God,” I groaned. “Okay, so we both know that it’s just not going to happen. I’m not going to sleep with both of these guys at the same time.”
“What if they were okay with it though?” she grinned.
“What do you mean if they were both okay with it?”
“What if they said, ‘I know we’re not in an exclusive relationship and I don’t mind if you sleep with other guys.’”
“What guy is going to say that, Sarah? Give me a fat chance. I’m not going to give either of them permission to sleep with other women. Even though they might be sleeping with other women right now, but that’s up to them and fine because I have no say in it, but I certainly wouldn’t just outright give them permission.”
“I know, girl. I’m just laughing and joking with you. Anyway, let’s see. I can’t wait.” She looked at her phone. “Okay, Harry just texted me. He’ll be here in five minutes.”
“Yay,” I said sarcastically.
“Try and be nice, Gemma. I know you don’t love him, but...”
“Love him? Yeah, definitely don’t love him. And let’s just say I don’t even like him sometimes.”
“Oh, Gemma. I wish you would try and get to know him better. He’s really not a bad guy. I know you feel like he’s using me, but we’ve been best friends since we were little kids and that’s just the nature of our relationship. He really does mean well.”
“I know. I just feel like you’re a doormat and I’m sorry for saying this, Sarah, but I feel like you’re always there for him and he always needs you to do these crazy things and he’s always got a different woman or a different scheme. And you’re like his sidekick and he just