real me or just the glam me. There was ego involved with every stage of a relationship. You always wanted a guy to like you, and I wanted Connor to like me. I knew that Lucas liked me, but it wasn’t like I had him yet. And in this moment, I wasn’t even thinking about him. This was about Gemma and Connor. Though our relationship would definitely have ripple effects. What if I went down looking like plain Jane, and Connor didn’t want me, and then my date tomorrow with Lucas went bad? Then, I’d be back to square one. With no guys.
I let out a deep sigh at the thought of going back to dating tons of guys who sucked. “Be positive, Gemma,” I said as I walked down the corridor toward the elevator. My stomach was filled with nerves. I had a problem with self-doubt, and I had a problem with always thinking the worst going into every situation. I tried my best to exude confidence, and I tried my best to exude positivity, but sometimes I couldn’t stop the negative thoughts from weighing me down.
I knew that nothing would come of thinking negatively. I knew that if Connor was going to like me, then this was a good time for him to see what I looked like underneath the mask. “You’ve got this, Gemma,” I said. The elevator finally stopped and I took a deep breath as I walked out and then exited through the front door. I stopped dead as I realized that Connor was already there, waiting for me.
“Hey,” he said. He looked me up and down, and I could feel my heart racing as he stared at me. What was he going to say? Was he going to make a joke about my appearance? I waited with bated breath.
“You look beautiful,” he said to me, and I looked at him in surprise. His eyes were gazing at me with a mixture of admiration and lust.
“What?” My eyes widened in happiness. I shouldn’t feel so good just because he’d complimented me, but I couldn’t stop the surge of pride and happiness that had burst through my heart. “No I don’t. I don’t even have on any makeup.”
“So?” He looked confused. “What does makeup have to do with anything?”
“Well, the other times that you saw me, I had on makeup, and I was dressed a little bit nicer, and...”
“Shh.” He put his finger against my lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if anything, you look even more beautiful now in your natural state than you did with makeup on.” He looked at my outfit. “I mean, yeah. Those sweatpants and that T-shirt have seen better days, but you’ve still got a hot body, girl. If you want to invite me upstairs, I’d be more than willing to come up and show you in person how much I admire and appreciate it.”
“Oh, Connor.” I laughed, happy and relieved. “You’re not coming upstairs. I’ve already told you that.”
“Aw, not even for five minutes?” He gave me a pleading look.
“Not even for five minutes, Connor. You said you wanted to come for one goodnight kiss, and I said that’s okay. But, you’re not coming upstairs, and you’re definitely not staying the night. So, don’t even think about asking.”
He gave me his most innocent look. “What? Why would you think I would want to stay the night? I told you that I’m an honorable gentleman.”
“Connor, I know you, and I can tell you’re the sort of guy that would want to stay the night.”
“Okay.” He chuckled. “Yeah. I’m not going to lie. If you said, ‘I want you to come upstairs with me right now and spend the night,’ I would spend the night. And you know what? If you said to me you don’t want to have sex, I would be okay with that. I’d sleep on the couch. I’d sleep on the floor if you wanted me to. If you said you wanted me to go down on you, I’d also be okay with that, and you wouldn’t even have to go down on me either.” He wiggled his tongue. “So, think about it, Gemma. What do you say?”
“Oh Connor, you’re incorrigible. No. You’re not coming upstairs, and you’re not going down on me.”
“What, never?” He gave me a sad pitiful look, and I laughed.
“I’m not answering that.”
“Uh huh. So, I’m guessing that’s a yes please, I’d love you to go down on me, just