I think I know. You know I had a surprise for you, right?”
“I know you had a surprise for me but maybe I want my surprise to be even better because you’ve been so patient and sweet with me.”
“Yeah, I guess I have.” He chuckled. “You know I’ve had blue balls for the last couple of days.”
“Oh no.” I laughed, feeling slightly nauseated. How could I have this conversation with him?
“But I guess you have the female blue balls too, huh?”
“Ha ha, yeah, I guess.”
“You were so wet and horny for me the other night.”
“Yeah.”
“Were you dreaming about me fucking you last night?”
“I don’t really know how to answer that,” I said, my face completely white. Oh my God, why had I called him?
“That’s okay, babe. I’ll be inside of you, fucking you soon. We’ll have fun.”
“Yeah, well I have to go now, I’m feeling a little bit sick again. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay, let me know if you need anything, okay?”
“Okay. Bye Lucas.”
“Bye.”
We hung up and I walked to my bedroom, grabbed my pillow and screamed into it. That was the most awkward conversation I’d ever had in my life. I couldn’t even imagine what Lucas would have said if I’d answered him with, “Actually Lucas, I don’t have the female version of blue balls, and actually last night I wasn’t thinking about fucking you because I was with another man, and he was fucking me far better than I think you ever could.”
Even as I thought the words I knew. I knew I wanted Connor, not Lucas. I was just about to call Lucas back and tell him that it was over when I got a message from Connor.
Connor: Hey, just wanted you to know one thing.
Gemma: Yeah? What is it?
Connor: I just got an email from the dating agency with ten new matches and I was thinking that I might go on some more dates but wanted to check with you on your thoughts.
I stared at his text message, my jaw dropping, anger at myself and at him flowing through me.
“What the fuck?” I said out loud. This guy had just slept with me this morning. I was just about to dump the other guy I was seeing and he was telling me that he was thinking about going on dates with some new girls.
“He doesn’t like you, Gemma,” I said to myself out loud. “Get it through your thick head, he has told you already he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Why would you date him? Why would you dump a good guy for him?”
I stared at his text message and didn’t respond back. “Asshole.” I threw the phone onto the bed, glad that I hadn’t called Lucas and broken up with him yet. “Fuck you, Connor. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I am done,” I said.
I could feel tears running down my eyes as I lay in the bed crying. I heard the phone beep again, I grabbed it and powered it off. I was not going to talk to him, not now, not until New Year’s Eve. And then on New Year’s Eve, I was done, I was dumping him. I was going to move on with Lucas and I was never going to look back.
How dare he even think that it was okay to send me a message like that? What did he think I was going to say in response? “Yeah, have fun.”
I could feel the tears rolling down my eyes and I knew that I’d been a fool. I’d been a stupid fool who thought she could be the modern-day, twenty-first-century girl. But I wasn’t, I wasn’t that girl. I was a traditionalist at heart. I wanted one man and I wanted one man who loved me, and I didn’t care anymore.
I didn’t care if he wasn’t the sexiest, most vibrant, most aggressive guy out there. I was done with the alpha males. I just needed a comfortable, sweet guy who wanted to take care of me, and that was Lucas. Lucas had been the good guy from the start and he was going to be the guy that got the girl.
Chapter 31
Fifty-two hours, that’s how long I kept my cell phone off. I’d wanted to turn it back on, of course. There’d been so many times I just wanted to turn it on and see if I had any messages from Connor or Lucas. But more importantly, I actually wanted to speak to Sarah. I wanted to make