it.
Without warning, Janine suddenly stepped back, wiping a stray tear away from her eye and forcing a smile. "I meant what I said. I'm really proud of you, William. I wish you nothing but happiness."
She turned and started walking toward the door. "Janine?"
"Yeah?"
"Are we breaking up? Like, officially breaking up?" He didn't know why he was asking. It seemed pretty obvious, but he hoped he was wrong. He hoped she would say they’d have a long distance relationship for awhile and see how it worked.
She swallowed hard. "I think we have to. Better not to leave things undone."
His breath caught in his chest as he stood there and watched her look at him one final time before walking out the door and shutting it behind her.
What in the world was he doing?
Meg walked down the sidewalk slowly, pushing the stroller ahead of her. Christian had left early for work this morning, probably in part because she was driving him crazy.
Every little thing set her off. Sometimes she cried, other times she yelled. She worried that Vivi's first months of life would be full of memories of her mother yelling in the background. But, for some reason, she just couldn't control her emotions.
After her mother’s visit the other night, she had been very angry with Christian for what she considered to be tattling on her. In her heart, she knew that he meant well as did her mother. She understood they were only trying to help, but it made her feel inferior.
Having a child at such a young age and disappointing her family had made her super sensitive. The only thing she had wanted was to be able to show them what a good mother she could be. She wanted them to be proud of her, to forget about the disappointments of the past and see her as a grown woman who could take care of her child.
Those first few weeks of motherhood had been tough with late night feedings, a colicky baby, sore breasts and exhaustion on a level she could barely describe. Being a new mother was way harder than she’d ever anticipated, and she had new respect for all of the women who’d gone before her.
She stopped and looked in a store window. It was a baby clothing consignment shop that she’d visited with her mother shortly before the baby was born. She hadn't been in there lately, even though Vivi was about to move up to the next size clothing. She was growing quickly, getting older right before Meg’s eyes. Sometimes that made her cry too.
She adored her baby daughter, but there were times that she just felt so empty. Lost. Alone. Defeated. And none of it made any logical sense. She had supportive family all around her. Yet she felt so alone in her misery and sadness sometimes.
Having a new baby was supposed to be exciting. She saw new mothers on TV, in movies and even on the street, and they all looked joyful and happy while she felt like she needed to dissolve into a puddle of tears at any given moment.
She stared blankly into the window, probably scaring the workers inside. As much as she wanted to force herself to walk through the door and purchase something for her daughter, she just couldn't do it. Nothing felt exciting. Nothing felt motivating. Every day it was just the same slow walk through quicksand for her.
She knew that her mother was right, that she should see the doctor. That she should get some help. But, getting help meant admitting that she was the disappointment she’d so feared.
"Are you okay, honey?" she heard Dixie ask from beside her. In her catatonic state, she had completely forgotten the bookstore was right next door to the consignment shop.
"What? Oh, yeah. Hi, Dixie."
Dixie looked at her for a long moment, concern written all over her face. "Sweetie, come with me," she said, taking the other end of the stroller and pulling it towards the bookstore. Meg didn't have the energy to argue.
As they walked into the bookstore, the door shut behind her, and a little bell causing Vivi to stir a bit. She quickly fell back asleep, thankfully.
“Is my mom here?" Meg asked, hoping the answer was no.
"No, she's not. She took the day off to help Dawson get ready for his big grand opening."
Meg nodded slightly. "Oh. That's right. The inn.”
"Sit down," Dixie said. She had such an authoritative voice that Meg didn't even question her or try to